How Can You Improve Your Marriage? 10 Marriages in the Bibleಮಾದರಿ

Jacob and Leah

Verses for Reflection:

- Genesis 29

- Genesis 30

Gathered as the "Help for Heart" team for a picnic, we animatedly discussed relationships. We concluded that in every marriage, even a very good one, there is a share of disappointment. Each of us has very high expectations of our partner. These expectations are shaped by the society we live in, as well as by social media, movies, and books. It seems that marriage itself can embody all our dreams and hopes, satisfy the need for love and care, and solve all problems. However, such expectations only lead to deep disappointment. For an idol never delivers what is desired.

Jacob, fleeing from his brother's vengeance, comes to his uncle, his mother's brother. There he meets the love of his life—Rachel. He makes a deal with her father to work for her for seven long years. But after waiting for the festive wedding banquet, Jacob discovers in the morning that Leah is beside him, not his beloved Rachel.

Of course, many questions arise. For example, how did he not notice in the evening that it was not Rachel? Perhaps the issue was the lighting?

Why did Laban give away his elder daughter in such a lowly manner? Perhaps he did not believe she could marry otherwise.

Why did Leah agree to this adventure? Perhaps she could not say "no" to her father? Or maybe she did not believe in happy love either?

In any case, Jacob experienced what it felt like to be deceived. Having once deceived Esau, he now had to learn not to do so. Such lessons are the most painful but also the most necessary. For true change occurs at the heart level.

Imagine Jacob in the morning—he hoped to see Rachel but saw Leah. His anger is understandable: disappointment, rage, disgust... All these feelings arise when we do not receive what we expected.

Tim Keller said that in any marriage, we ultimately encounter Leah. Each of us has our disappointments and unfulfilled dreams. But perhaps this is how it should be? While we are on this side of paradise, all relationships are afflicted by sin and need healing. Every marriage is in the process of God's healing.

Therefore, it is important to accept this disappointment from God, to pray, and to grow spiritually, encouraging our beloved to grow as well. Through his marriage to Leah, Jacob grew in understanding just how destructive deceit can be. Leah grew in faith as one who was unwanted on earth but was chosen by God—through her, Jesus came.

And Jesus is the One who will never disappoint. He is the Bridegroom who will not betray or let us down. He is the One who nurtures and heals. When our hearts honor Christ as the highest value, we more easily accept imperfection and disappointment. For we understand that the path to paradise goes along a narrow road of renouncing our illusions, hopes, and lofty expectations. The return to paradise begins with the words: "Not my will, but Yours be done."

Questions for Reflection:

1. Do I often feel that Leah awaits me in marriage each morning?

2. How do I cope with this disappointment?

3. What is the Lord working on in my heart through marriage?