GRACE Abounds for the Spouseનમૂનો

Renovation in Progress

For survivors of sexual abuse, the weight of shame can feel suffocating. Shame attacks your wife’s identity, whispering lies to her that she is dirty, damaged, or unworthy of love. That shame distorts how she sees herself, especially her body. She may feel disconnected from it, seeing it not as sacred but as something confusing and burdensome. Sex, then, is never just physical — it touches a wounded place in her soul.

She may struggle to believe that her body is good, that her heart is worthy, or that she is safe in intimacy. But in God's eyes, her body is a temple, and her heart is holy ground. Approaching her with gentleness, reverence, and patience reminds her of this truth: she is not what happened to her; she is who God says she is — cherished, pure, and deeply loved.

She may send mixed signals—wanting to feel loved and desired but panicking when arousal kicks in. This mix is not faulty wiring but a protective instinct. Oftentimes, she may even struggle to feel safe in her own body. During those difficult days, she needs unconditional love.

Remember 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 (NIV), "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Understand that a warm cuddle might be a desire for safety in your arms and not the initiation of sex. Admire your wife without expectation. When she seeks emotional closeness, pressing for physical intimacy can be overwhelming. She may feel ambushed or cornered, causing her to withdraw, retreat, or instinctively shut down. Your tools should be consent, communication, and compassion. Create a sanctuary where she knows she is not a means to your end. On this unpredictable trail, be the kind of man she feels safe with and love her with such tenderness that she starts to understand her worth as a daughter of God.