Challenging Your Distorted Thoughts After InfidelityExemple

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Another common form of distorted thinking is all-or-nothing thinking. When they discover their husband’s affair, some women immediately jump to the conclusion that divorce is their only option and consider contacting an attorney to discuss the situation.

Fortunately, there’s another alternative. You aren’t as stuck as you think. In our romanticized culture, it’s easy to think that you must either have the “all” of a blissful, faithful marriage or the “nothing” of divorce.

Living in the throes of aftershock can produce paralyzing fear and block creative, flexible, and realistic thinking. To correct this, your mind needs to be transformed and renewed as Romans 12:2 states: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

This transformation and renewal take time and good counsel. Proverbs 15:22 reminds us that “without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” If you are contemplating an all-or-nothing plan to survive the aftermath of your own aftershock, wait! You have more choices right now than you can readily imagine. The alternatives may be unfamiliar or require learning a new skill, but they’re often the best solution.

Seek the counsel of a spiritual mentor, a close Christian friend, or a professional therapist who can help you explore a workable plan you might not have considered yet.

Next, we’ll look more closely at automatic negative thoughts.