Helping Your Kids Know God's Good DesignSample

Talk about God’s Design for Men and Women

Before we explain the act of sexual intercourse to our children, they need to understand the basics of male and female anatomy—so our first conversation should be about these different body parts. An easy way to begin is to ask your child about their favorite toy. Ask what they like about this toy and how they treat it differently than other toys. Discuss how your child is careful with how and when they play with this toy, and how they don’t let just anyone play with it. Then you can explain that just as they treat this special toy with care, God has given us special body parts to treat with care.

Then take your child to Genesis 1:27, which reads, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (ESV). You can ask your child what the final part of this verse reveals about how God created us. Then discuss how God created us as male or female. You can say, “Male is a fancy word for boy, and female is a fancy word for girl.” Explain that as soon as your child was born, you knew whether they were male or female, and you knew this by looking at the special part of their body God had created.

If you have never introduced the anatomically correct words for genitalia, this is the time to do so. For example, you could say, “God designed you as a boy. So the special part of your body is called your penis.” Or: “God designed you as a girl. So the special part of your body is called your vagina.” Then you can explain the genitalia God created for the opposite sex. If your child has a younger sibling of the opposite sex, they’ve most likely bathed with this sibling or seen their diaper being changed, so this should be an easy conversation. If not, you will want to accompany this conversation with a basic illustration. A helpful resource for this is The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones. This book contains simple illustrations that show both male and female genitalia in a developmentally appropriate way.

You can then say, “Most of the time, you probably won’t notice this part of your body except when you use the bathroom. Boys pass urine through their penis. Girls do not pass urine through their vagina, but their vagina is a part of the body they wipe after urinating.” Then explain that God designed these parts of the male and female body for another very special purpose that you will talk about in the future. At this point, you can end the conversation by asking your child if he or she has any questions. I know this can be intimidating because you don’t know what questions they might ask, but you don’t need to worry. If your child asks you a question that shocks, surprises, or confuses you, or if they ask a question you just don’t know the answer to, you can respond by saying, “That’s a great question. I’m so thankful you are thinking deeply about our conversation. I’ll need a little time to answer that question, but we can talk more about it tomorrow [or tonight, or any time in the next 48 hours that works].”