God’s Never Ending Faithfulness
It was a beautiful day in March of 2013. I was pregnant with my fourth child and had eight more weeks to go. I was counting down the days and was so excited to meet this sweet baby. That particular pregnancy had been just like my other ones: healthy, great, and set to deliver at 40 weeks. But the next thing I knew, my water had broken eight weeks early, and I was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital for an emergency C-section. In the midst of all the unknown, the baby was as healthy as he could be for being born at 32 weeks, and I seemed to be okay—until I wasn’t.
To sum up an excruciating year in one sentence: I was diagnosed with Postpartum Psychosis and lived the hardest year of my life. I was in and out of hospitals and dealt with mania, depression, anxiety, and more. I hated my life and had daily suicidal thoughts. Over the course of a year, I lost almost everything: my health, my job, financial security, our house, and more. It felt like I was drowning and there was no hope.
But in the midst of such pain and loss, we experienced God’s faithfulness like we never had before. He provided for us every step of the way. Our community rallied around us and would help with the kids, clean the house, bring groceries over, and make us meals. When things did not make sense to us, God made it clear that He was still sovereign and still in control. Now, five years later, I can look back on that time and see how faithful God was.
He will not fail us. He will not leave us. He will continually take care of us. But in the midst of our struggles, we have to do our part: go to counseling, take the medicine, confess the sin, or get in a LifeGroup. We can’t just sit around and be idle. We get on our knees. We pray. We fight. We stay in God’s Word. We persevere through our struggles. And we trust that God will bring us through it and make us better because of it.
1. As you trust God through your struggle, what is something you can actively do to help bring you through it? What is a next step to move toward healing?
2. Are you in community? Do you have those people you can call at 3:00am if you need help?
3. How have you seen God’s faithfulness through your hardest, darkest times?