Finding Hope Beyond The FrontUkázka

Miscarriage

Christina, Army wife

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” – Psalm 139:1, NIV

In 2004, my husband began his 13 weeks of training in Chaplain’s School while my two boys, ages 1 and 3, and I went to live with my in-laws in Colorado. I was 16 weeks pregnant.

Early one morning, I awoke to hear my youngest son crying. I bent over to pick him up and my water broke. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had miscarried three times before giving birth to my two children and thought this pregnancy would last. 

My father-in-law rushed me to the ER and I was given the devastating news that my baby would certainly die. How I longed for my husband.

They told me I could die of infection and should consider terminating, but there was a heartbeat! My soul cried, “O Lord, You knew me in my mother’s womb and You know this baby!”

I went home to wait for the early delivery of the baby. 

Almost two months later, my husband graduated from school and came home to gather up his family for the move to Ft. Lewis, WA. I was still carrying the little baby with a heartbeat. As we drove through the mountains of Idaho, my husband informed me he would soon be leaving for Iraq. I wept. Could I lose a baby and him? I needed God’s peace desperately.

I scheduled an OB appointment. There was still a heartbeat but two days later, the medical team could no longer detect one. The next day, I delivered Adam Christopher and held him in my arms. He had lived for 28 weeks.

God gave me a peace like nothing I have ever felt before. It was truly the peace that passes all understanding.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Some have long lives and some very short. I am learning through life’s events to glorify God in joy and in sorrow. His ways are far above ours.

PRAYER: Lord, I know You are the author of all life, and Your Word provides hope. For however long this life may be, it is but a passing breath compared with eternal life in the new creation with you.

PASSAGES FOR STUDY: Matthew 5,6; Psalm 139