Sacred Intimacy: God's Design for Sexਨਮੂਨਾ

Finding Pleasure

Key Verse:

"Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices. You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Awake, north wind, and come south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits." - Song of Songs 4:11-16

Reading:

Previously, I've mentioned that it's important to understand that sex isn't all about pleasure. However, it is also important to recognize that pleasure is one of the reasons that God created sex. If you look at Song of Songs 4:11, the passage talks about love so passionate it's as if you're drunk on it. This passion portrays a love where neither is holding back. This is the kind of passion that God intends for a married couple to experience.

I want to acknowledge where I said they're experiencing an intoxicated type of passion. When you think about drunkenness, you tend to think of overindulgence with sin. I mean, you could have one glass of wine, but if you overindulge to the point of drunkenness, that's sinful, it's not okay. I think that often women look at sex in a similar light. They think that if they overindulge that the behavior becomes sinful; however, I want to challenge them to shift their perspective.

God is saying in the marriage bed, in a loving marriage, don't hold back. There are times that we, as women, hold back and think, "Well, that's not okay," or "that's too much," or "that's too much pleasure". Why can't we acknowledge the ways that the world has corrupted sex with porn and sexual sin? When we acknowledge that, we can understand that pleasure between a husband and wife isn't sinful; God created sex with that intention. God is extending this gift of immense pleasure and freedom in the marriage bed in a loving marriage. Are we embracing that and receiving that gift? Or are we saying? "No. I don't know if that's safe. I don't know if that's okay."

Another important part of sexual pleasure for husband and wife is that the pleasure is for both of them. I think many times wives believe sexual pleasure is just for the husband but I want to make it clear that God created woman with a part of their body that is solely for pleasure. He would not have created that if a wife was not supposed to feel pleasure when with her husband.

Sex should be mutually enjoyable for both husband and wife, and I think sometimes they feel like it's not possible because they don't understand how their bodies work. However, if you feel like you aren't getting the pleasure you seek with your husband, it is your responsibility to communicate that. It requires husbands and wives vulnerably sharing, talking, and showing to create a mutually enjoyable sex life, where both husbands and wives experience pleasure. It takes work, and it takes a wife's honesty. Your bodies are very different than your husbands so sometimes they don't know what to do, which is where your communication comes into play.

Reflection:

God's Design: Do you believe the world's lies that pleasure is sinful? Is that holding you back from experiencing the pleasure God intends with your husband?

Understanding Our Bodies: Do you feel that you are receiving the pleasure you desire? Are you communicating openly with your husband so that you can experience it?

Overcoming Misconceptions: Do you believe that husbands should experience more pleasure than wives? Why so? How can you put that misconception behind you and move forward with confidence that God created you to experience pleasure, also?

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and the beautiful design of intimacy within it. Help us to embrace the pleasure you intended for us, to celebrate and enjoy each other fully. Remove any misconceptions or fears that hold us back from experiencing the fullness of this gift. Teach us to understand and cherish each other’s bodies, to communicate openly, and to love deeply. May our intimate moments be a reflection of Your love and delight in us. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

Was this plan helpful? We adapted this Plan from the free Christian Leaders Institute's course called God's Design for Sex. Christian Leaders offers over 200 free courses that are both biblical and online.

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