Sacred Intimacy: God's Design for Sexਨਮੂਨਾ

Life & Oneness

Key Verse:

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." - Genesis 2:24

Reading:

Thinking about God's design for sex, the next place we're going to head is to Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it". God created sex to create life, to make babies, to procreate. That's probably the number one reason that we hear God created sex. When we think about talking to our kids about sex, that's what we think about: talking about how you make a baby. It might feel rather obvious that God created sex to make babies, but God could have created life in other ways. However, He didn't choose to; He chose to create this very intimate act as a way to create life. I think there's an importance in that.

The second place we're going to go to is Genesis 2:23-24, "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." God created sex to make us into one in marriage. I used to think that maybe that was just a one-time deal, or we get married, we have sex, and boom, God makes us into one. But, the more I've learned, the more I think there is a uniqueness in the 1st time you have sex in marriage, but I believe he makes us into one every time we have sex. The world is constantly trying to pull you apart, trying to divide your marriage, and so I think we need this powerful gift effect to keep finding us, to keep making us into one.

Now, for a lot of women, this is not something that comes naturally. In fact, in many marriage books, you'll read things like for a wife to have sex, first, she needs to feel emotionally connected to her husband. Then you'll read that for a husband to open up to his wife emotionally, he needs to have sex with his wife. Now, those might be what comes naturally to us, but is it possible that we're supposed to learn new things? Like, aren't husbands supposed to learn to talk to their wives? Even if they haven't had sex, to love her and to serve her and to share his heart with her, even if he hasn't had sex? But isn't the same also true? Maybe, you know, if a wife isn't feeling emotionally connected to her husband, is it possible that if she has a husband who loves her and is trustworthy, that she needs to trust him when he reaches for her? My husband and I remember many times when we would get into disagreements, and we'd go to bed still angry. We'd be lying there, and I would still be fuming and wrestling with how we're going to figure out this argument, and all of a sudden, my husband is reaching for me to have sex. I'm thinking, you've got to be kidding, are you crazy? How can you even think about sex at a time like this? When we're not connected? Now, my husband is the kindest, gentlest, most loving husband anybody could ask for. He would never do anything to treat me poorly, and is it possible that in those moments, I needed to trust my husband? Maybe my husband didn't just need a sexual release; maybe he understood that if we could just come together and have sex, God would help make it into one again. That takes a lot of trust, and I'm not saying wives should just have sex with their husbands because he wants it, but I'm saying in those moments, you need to think about who your husband is. Is he trustworthy? Is he loving? Would he do anything in the world for you? If he is that man, when he's reaching for you to have sex, then maybe you need to trust that God will bring you together as one. However, as I said before, this isn't easy for women. So, in those times, if you're feeling doubt or even anger, turn to prayer. Say, "God, will you help me in turn to this? Help me to trust that you're going to make something good out of this? Help me to get my body on board and fully trust you in this." Watch how God truly works in those moments and how that will begin to shift your view of sex into what God designed it to be.

Reflection:

True Design: Do you truly believe that God designed sex for procreation and oneness? If not, how can you begin to believe so?

Oneness: Are you using sex to find oneness in your marriage? How can you become better at doing so?

Trusting God: How can you trust God further that He will use your sex for good?

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for the beautiful gift of sex that You designed to create life and to unite us as one in marriage. Help us to understand and embrace this gift according to Your design. Remove any misconceptions or baggage we carry about sex. Strengthen our marriages, and help us to love and honor each other as equals. Teach us to trust in Your plan for oneness, and let us experience the deep connection You intended. In Jesus' name, Amen.