Sacred Intimacy: God's Design for Sexਨਮੂਨਾ

Knowing Each Other

Key Verse:

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain." - Genesis 4:1

Reading:

The next reason God created sex is to know each other. In Genesis 4:1, it says, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain". First, I just want to talk about something I noticed. The verse above is in the ESV translation, but when you look at the NIV or CSB translations, they say that Adam made love to or was intimate with Eve. I think that's incredibly notable because to know your wife and to be intimate with your wife is the same. Another thing to point out is that the Hebrew translation of knew is yadah. However, yadah isn't just the kind of knowing where you may know somebody's name; it is the deepest, most intimate, intimate kind of knowing and is used for knowing God.

I believe women are very in touch with knowing during sex. Knowing if they are truly connecting with their husband or if they are just getting to the finish line. A woman craves to be truly known by her husband, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Let's do a little demonstration to explain this further. Take your right hand and I want you to rub your left wrist. Now, I want you to stop and, instead of rubbing your wrist, I want you to think about feeling your wrist. First, think about feeling the surface of the wrist, the skin, and the texture. Then, I want you to think about feeling underneath the surface of the wrist, underneath the surface of the skin, where you pick up the shape of tendons or veins. Then the last thing I want you to do is to just keep your fingers still on that wrist, maybe close your eyes, and see if you can maybe pick up a pulse. Sometimes, when there's so much movement, we're missing out on the most subtle things. I want you to think about this for a second. What was the difference between rubbing and feeling? What changed? Well, rubbing was mindless, but the feeling was thinking about what you were doing. It's being intentional, it's being more in tune. I think this is a powerful concept to help us understand what it means to get to know our spouse during sex. If we're getting to know each other through sex, then we're feeling each other, instead of just mindlessly rubbing each other. That means if we're truly getting to know each other, shouldn't we learn how to read each other's bodies? Shouldn't we know if something is enjoyable to our spouse, or ticklish? Or if it's frustrating them? You will never learn how to read your spouse's mind, but shouldn't we learn how to read their bodies if we're getting to know them during that?

Now, getting to know our spouse during sex is not just about physical aspects; I think it's about everything. It's about getting to know them emotionally. How are they feeling? Can you sense that through sex? It's about getting to know them spiritually. Do you know your spouse's insecurities? Do you know their wounds or their baggage? Areas where you may need to be gentler? Areas where maybe you need to affirm their beauty or their masculinity. So, sex is supposed to be this amazing journey of truly getting to know each other. Although this deep knowing is a beautiful intimacy, that doesn't mean it will always be easy. I think it takes great trust and great vulnerability. I think it takes courage to share yourself and takes intentionality. It takes being able to talk about sex. A lot of us aren't even able to talk about sex, and if we're not able to communicate about sex with words, how are we going to get to know each other through sex? And so, it is an area of growth for many of us.

Reflection:

Knowing Your Spouse: How can you deepen the intimacy and knowledge of your spouse through your sexual relationship?

Trusting: Are there areas where you need to grow in trust and communication? Are they with God or your spouse?

Sharing: Are you and your spouse open to talking about sex? Have you shared your worries, discontent, or anger with them?

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for the gift of sex and the deep intimacy it brings to marriage. Help us to understand and embrace your design for knowing each other through sex. Teach us to be intentional, to communicate openly, and to trust each other deeply. May our physical union be a reflection of our emotional and spiritual connection, and may it draw us closer to each other and you. In Jesus' name, Amen.