Sacred Intimacy: God's Design for Sexਨਮੂਨਾ

Comforting Sex

Key Verse:

"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him." - 2 Samuel 12:24

Reading:

The next reason that God created sex is for comfort. This comes out of 2 Samuel 12:24, and it's after David and Bathsheba have lost their child. It says, "Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and he went to her, and he made love to her, and she gave birth to a son." It's clearly shown that God created sex as a comfort. That's a radical shift from what the world would tell us about sex. The world would tell us that sex is about getting what you want, getting your needs met, maybe about people using each other, not that sex is a comfort. I think it's a real stretch, and not a natural place for a lot of people to go. Whether it's for men or women, I mean, sex can feel dirty, and there's this need that you have to have filled, and it can feel overwhelming. Certainly, for wives, sex can feel like a duty that you need to do for your husband, or maybe it feels like a reward for when everything is going well. However, God says sex is supposed to be a comfort to you. I think in the slim chance that we have heard about sex as a comfort, it's usually a wife comforting her husband. However, in this passage, it is David comforting Bathsheba. That is pretty uncommon for women, but God created it to be comforting for both partners.

I want to challenge you in this. I think this can be a huge mindset shift to think of sex as a comfort, but God's intent for sex is that sometimes it's a comfort when there are no words left. To make you feel better, when you cried, you wept, and there's nothing else to do, through making love together, God could help you comfort each other. I had one woman who shared she'd lost her sister to a difficult battle with drugs. After many tears, crying, and talking about things with her husband, there were no words left. So she went to her husband and said, Can we just have sad sex? I think that it's really important to acknowledge that comforting sex isn't going to be like fun sex or wild sex; it's a moment where you are focusing on comforting each other. It's another kind of intimate and knowing one another emotionally.

I'm aware that in the frustrating or difficult moments, having your husband reach out to you for sex can seem selfish or offensive, but we must stop viewing it like that. We must recognize that this is an opportunity to be comforted, to grow closer to our spouse, and to go to them in this vulnerability.

Reflection:

Source of Comfort: Have you ever experienced sex as a source of comfort? Reflect on times when intimacy with your spouse brought you comfort or when you comforted your spouse through physical closeness.

Shift Your Mindset: How can you shift your mindset to view sex as a mutual act of comfort rather than a duty or an act of self-gratification?

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of intimacy within marriage. Help us to understand and embrace your design for sex as a source of comfort and healing. Teach us to seek and offer comfort to our spouse through our physical and emotional connection. May our intimacy reflect Your love and bring us closer together in all circumstances. In Jesus' name, Amen.