The Unwanted Firstsਨਮੂਨਾ

Seek

We may not be able to get all our questions about our loss/losses answered, but we can go to the source of all answers to learn how to cope, to find peace, and to move forward healthily.

Scripture tells us to seek the Lord with our whole hearts and minds. We are promised that we will find the comfort, the peace, and the strength to take the following steps forward healthily.

But what about when this person you've lost has the first birthday after going to Heaven? Mother's Day? Father's Day? What about their favorite celebrated holidays whirling around in your mind as they approach?

Friends, I cannot lie and say that the days leading up to those events weren't excruciatingly challenging for me to bear. Everyone's grief journey can look very different, and that's normal, and it's OK. I had a more difficult time thinking about those events "coming" than I had once they were here in the now.

Many people want to skip the events altogether to get through those unwanted firsts. It's OK if that's how you need it to be. Remember that "no" is a complete sentence that needs no explanation when you must decline an offer to go somewhere you usually would have while grieving.

You may need to get away somewhere so that the pain of the loss isn't a constant reminder throughout the event that's on its way. It's not that you stop thinking about them. You may need different scenery at times during your grief journey to get through it. Just plan something. Please don't wait for the unwanted firsts to creep up on you and drown in them because you lack a plan.

Even though the Lord understands and is acquainted with your sorrows, He doesn't want you to isolate yourself or disassociate. Jesus is looking for you to come to Him. Seek Him while He still may be found, and get the rest, comfort, and peace you need to carry on.

Grief support groups are excellent resources for helping you manage your thoughts and feel less alone in your grief. Many churches offer them for free.

Seek the Lord. Seek the prayers and company of people who genuinely love you and those trained in grief counsel and glean from God's goodness through His people. God greatly loves you and wants to draw close to you during these unwanted firsts!