What am I here for?

In The Chosen, Judas struggles with how Jesus is carrying out His ministry. He sees opportunity—momentum, influence, crowds ready to crown Jesus as King. The moment seems perfect to drive out the Romans.

And Judas wants to help make that happen. He assumes his strategic abilities are why Jesus chose him. He’s frustrated that Jesus doesn’t seem to be valuing his talents.

Judas cries out, “Why am I even here? What can I do?”

That thought may sound familiar.

It is easy to measure purpose by usefulness; to assume value comes from what we can achieve, build, or improve. But Jesus’ calling does not begin there.

In Mark 3, we read that Jesus chose His disciples “that they might be with Him.”

Before any task.

Before any mission.

Before any visible impact.

They were chosen to be with Him.

This shifts the foundation. Following Jesus is not rooted in performance or ability, but in relationship. Work and service matter, but they are not the starting point.

That creates tension. If expectations are built around outcomes, progress, or visible success, Jesus’ pace and priorities may feel confusing. The question then becomes deeper than activity.

Who has your heart? Do you trust Him, even when His way differs from what you expected?

Judas wrestles with this. The same tension can surface in any life shaped by goals, pressure, or the desire to make a difference.

But Jesus begins somewhere else—with relationship, closeness, friendship.

Before asking what needs to be done, there is a simpler question: have you been with Him?

Make space for that now, right where you are. Be still for a moment. Thank Him. He is first of all after your heart.

Reflection Questions

• Do you recognize yourself in Judas’ thoughts?
• Where do you tend to find your sense of value—relationship or performance?
• What invitation might Jesus have for you today?
• What would you like to say to Jesus right now?

Prayer

Lord, thank You that You are not first interested in my abilities, my actions, or my qualifications. You want my heart. Today, I give it to You again. I love You, Lord Jesus, and You love me. That is my foundation. Thank You. Amen.