Rules of Resilience: How to Thrive in a World of Change and UncertaintySýnishorn

Resilience Rule #6: Close Your Energy Gap

The need for resilience grows when you don’t have the resources to meet the stressors you face. One of your most important resources is energy. It fuels your ability not only to keep going, but also to be consistent, creative, and committed.

The bigger your challenge, the bigger your commitment must be to doing what’s needed to meet it. And the bigger the goal, the more energy it takes to achieve it. Whether you’re using physical, mental, or emotional energy, it can be easy to underestimate just how much you need to get to the goal. But if the required energy for your challenge is a level 10, you cannot overcome it with available energy at a level 5. Yet that is what so many of us attempt day after day. Doing so will frustrate you and even cause you to misdirect that frustration in ways that further deplete your energy. “Just push through” works sometimes, but if your strategy is to chronically push yourself to your limits, the reserve of energy you repeatedly tap into will eventually run dry. Suddenly burned out, you may find yourself giving up entirely and sabotaging your most authentic desires.

Too often, we ignore the signals that are sending messages about our need to take better care of ourselves. Here are two things you can do to consider where you have an opportunity to replenish your energy:

• Listen. What circumstances, situations, or changes in your life or work may be signs that you need better self-care? For example, you may be trying to balance new responsibilities at home or work, or you may be dealing with new challenges to your health, finances, or relationships. Frequent headaches, exhaustion or irritability, forgetfulness, chronic lateness and missed deadlines, and no time for leisure, social fun, or workout routines may be signals that your reserves are dangerously low.
• Honor. It’s not enough to listen and notice what is calling for your attention. You must also honor what you hear by doing something about it. What could you do to honor what you are sensing in these areas where you are depleted? Whether it’s setting boundaries, looking for small pockets of free time in your daily routine, or brainstorming with a friend, neighbor, or spouse about how you might work in some breathing room for each other, finding some simple ways to honor your need for rest and rejuvenation really is possible.

Notice on a daily, weekly, and even annual basis whether you have an energy gap. Does your available energy meet or exceed the required energy level for your vision? If so, you are equipped to meet the challenge. If not, make a plan to close that gap—either by adjusting the goal so it requires less energy or by increasing your available energy level through intentional choices to boost your mental, emotional, and physical capacity.

Want More on Resilience?

This plan was inspired by Valorie Burton's new book, Rules of Resilience: 10 Ways Successful People Get Better, Wiser, and Stronger. In Rules of Resilience, Valorie Burton, best-selling author and CEO of the Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute, teaches you how to build or strengthen your own personal resilience system, offering practical strategies you can employ immediately to conquer obstacles, overcome setbacks, achieve greater happiness, and succeed at higher levels than ever before. Discover more at valorieburton.com.