Keep Your Love On: ConnectionExemple

If your "love" isn't producing things like safety, peace, and trust in your relationships, then it probably shouldn't be called love. There are millions of people around the world who call what they have in a relationship "love." Looking closer you find that they are people who cannot fully be themselves because it's not safe--they consistently withhold things and set conditions based on what they will give up to the other person.

If you want to test the quality of a love in a relationship, then you need to ask one another, "Do you feel safe? Do you feel cared for? Do you feel valued and significant? Do you feel protected? Do you feel pursued and known?" The most immediate sign that the pillar of love is growing strong in your relationships is that all fear is leaving as courage, freedom, and safety are felt and expressed.

• Do you feel safe to be yourself around those who say they "love" you?
• Do others feel safe to be themselves around you? How do you know?