Learn to discern when to say ‘No.'

Our purpose in life is not to be everything to everyone. Sadly, many of us have felt that way. We have felt we must fix it all – for our children, loved ones, ourselves. But the truth is, we can’t. We can’t fix the world, our kids, coworkers, family, etc. We cannot even fix ourselves! The weight of the world is not ours to bear! It is the Lord’s weight. His yoke is easy. With Christ alone, do we accomplish anything? The Holy Spirit is the fixer. We are not. He is the maker of the world go-round. Not us. Sometimes, the weight of single parenting can feel heavy when balancing work, parenting duties, church attendance, friendships, finances, and so on. But Jesus’ burden is light. Understanding the difference between an assignment from the Lord and a distraction by the enemy is critical. Enter discernment. We must learn to hear the voice of God, using wisdom and discernment on where our yeses and nos should be and the key areas that can be dangerous pitfalls to exhaust us.

Here are some areas in life where we must be certain we are exercising discernment and wisdom for our yeses and nos:

1. Our children. First, we must be realistic about what can be done. There are times in our parenting journey when there is simply not enough time in the day to get soccer practice, homework, two jobs, and dirty dishes done. Sometimes, our no is in exercising wisdom that we do not have the margin to get it done. We often leave no room for the Lord when we overbook our schedules. Our children do not receive devotionals at home. We rush out the door without praying. We are not able to slow down and teach our children to bask in His presence. This is what matters.
2. Friends. The Lord made us for relationships, no doubt. And the Word says He puts the lonely in families. Some of our greatest fulfillments in life may very well be our friendships. However, it is essential to know when seasons have started and equally important to know when they have ended. While some friends are there for a lifetime, other people in our lives are meant for only a season. Use discernment about who is in your life and whether they should be. Too often, our exhaustion – both spiritually and physically – is in exerting time, energy, and headspace to a relationship that the Lord called us to end a long time ago. It doesn't mean God doesn't love that person or they didn't bring value during a season of friendship. It just means the Lord has prompted you to move on.
3. A future spouse. Most single mothers will eventually marry, statistically speaking. Perhaps more than any other, the thought-life surrounding a future mate can be exhausting. Will I ever find the one? Will someone want me as a single mom? Are there any good men left? Some allow their fear of the future to exhaust them. Others allow consuming thoughts about timing to be an energy zapper. Still yet, some of you may have entered into a romantic relationship that the Lord never ordained, and it has extracted much from you, as you operate in disobedience. Discernment and wisdom through the power of the Holy Spirit give us real-time instruction. The Holy Spirit was sent as an advocate to lead, guide, and direct. The problem with many of us is that we ignore His prompting. We get overworked, overwhelmed, and sometimes out of sync with God's will for our lives because we have ignored the instruction of the Holy Spirit. Let your yes be yes and no be no. When something is unsettled in your spirit, the Lord is guiding you away. There is much rest when we are at peace in our souls.

Points to Ponder:

• Is there someone who came to mind that you may need to exclude from your life in this season? How do you know?
• Are there some activities in your life that the Lord never gave His permission for you (or your children) to participate in, but you feared saying 'no'? How can you correct it now?