No More Mr. Nice Guy: Saying Goodbye to Doormat Christianityናሙና

“No” is Not a Dirty Word

The problem with most Christians is not that they don’t know how to say no (though we often don’t) to bad things. The problem is that we haven’t learned to say no to good things when we should.

The three lies that lead to yes:

Lie 1 is believing God always wants a yes. There is a great lesson to learn in John’s account of Jesus’ raising of His friend Lazarus from the dead. “Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. . . . Therefore the sisters sent to him, saying, ‘Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.’ When Jesus heard that, He said, ‘This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.” (John 11:1-7 NKJV) When Jesus finally got to Bethany, Lazarus was dead. The interesting thing about that whole episode is that Jesus was in tune with God’s agenda, and He didn’t care about everybody else’s agenda. If we had been there, we would have said, “Don’t you care about your friend?” We would have told Him that no Christian ever turns away from any need. And we would have been absolutely wrong. Let me give you an important principle: Immediate need is not God’s call for immediate action. God’s call for immediate action is the only call for immediate action. Find out what God has told you to do, and then say no to the rest.

Lie 2 is believing no will hurt our witness. We are afraid of what people will think. There is probably nothing in this world that will kill a Christian faster than constantly being on-stage before the world, playing to an audience who will determine whether we are good, pure, or faithful.

Lie 3 is believing we’re responsible for everything. It is found in the oft-quoted cliché: “If you aren’t a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.” That is dumb. It presupposes that by not being a part of the solution to the problems of the world, you have somehow caused them. Such an idea is pure nonsense.

You can’t say no to good things unless you have learned to trust the sovereignty of God. It is only because He is God that I can sleep at night. Learn to say no to the manipulators. If you don’t, you will never learn to be obedient to the Only One before whom you are always required to say yes.