God's Parenting Playbook: Divine Strategies for Earthly DadsНамуна

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE: LOVING LIKE THE FATHER LOVES

Let’s talk through a potential Dad scenario. Your child walked through the door tonight, and you could see it written all over their face—they messed up. Maybe it was a bad grade, a poor choice with friends, or a moment of defiance that left everyone frustrated. In that moment, what's your first instinct? Disappointment? Anger? A lecture about how they should know better?

God's love for us isn't based on our performance. When we fail big time, when we disappoint Him, when we make the same mistakes over and over, His love remains unchanged. "See what kind of love the Father has given to us," John writes in 1 John 3:1, focusing on the unconditional nature of God's affection for His children. John tells us that we are called children of God. This standing before God is not because of anything we’ve done but rather what Christ has done for us.

As fathers, we have the incredible opportunity—and responsibility—to give our children a picture of this divine love. This doesn't mean being permissive or ignoring wrong behavior. It means that our love for them remains steady regardless of their choices, achievements, or attitudes.

When I was 15, two of my friends and I “borrowed” my Dad’s car one evening without his permission. As we headed back to my house, I turned the corner and saw my Dad standing in our driveway. My knees went weak. I parked the car in the garage and he asked me to go to my room. I had no idea what was going to happen. A few minutes later, he walked into my room and sat down on my bed. He was calm. He asked me if I knew the dangers surrounding me taking the car. My not having a licence was only the top of the list. He said he loved me and the consequence was that he would not be helping me get a car when I was 16. I would need to do that on my own. He hugged me and left my room. It was a perfect picture of God’s love for us.

Sure, there are often consequences, but He doesn't love us less when we veer off the path or struggle with the same sin for the hundredth time. He doesn't withdraw His affection when we forget to pray for days or when our faith feels weak. We see in Romans 8:38-39 that His love is constant and that nothing can separate us from His love.His constant love allows us to risk growth, to try again after failure, and to rest in our identity as His child.

Your children need this same security. They need to know that your love isn't based on their grades, their athletic performance, their obedience, or their ability to meet your expectations.

When they know they're loved unconditionally, they're free to be honest about their struggles, to take healthy risks, and to develop into who God designed them to be rather than who they think you want them to be.

This kind of love celebrates their unique personalities rather than trying to force them into a mold. It finds joy in their quirks, embraces their different learning styles, and sees God's creativity in how He made each child unique. Some kids are naturally compliant; others push boundaries. Some are artistic; others are analytical. Some are social extroverts; others are deep thinkers who prefer smaller groups.

Unconditional love doesn't try to change your child's God-given personality—it helps them become the best version of who they already are.

Reflection Questions:

1. When you were growing up, did you feel your parents' love was conditional or unconditional? How does this impact your parenting?
2. In what areas are you most tempted to withdraw affection based on your child's performance?
3. How can you better celebrate your child's unique personality and gifts this week?

Next Steps:

• Tell each of your children something you love about their personality that has nothing to do with their behavior or achievements.
• Identify one area where you've been withholding approval until they "perform better" and choose to offer encouragement instead.
• When they fail or disappoint you this week, start your response with affirmation of your love before addressing the issue.
• Pray for each child by name, asking God to help you see them through His eyes of unconditional love.