Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Scripture: Romans 5:3–5 (NLT)
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

Let’s be real: when life knocks the breath out of you, “thriving” can feel like a cruel joke. Some days, just surviving feels like a win. When you’re holding a negative test, planning a funeral instead of a nursery, or grieving what never got to be, the word “thrive” feels foreign. Sometimes just getting out of bed or sitting through another baby shower feels like a miracle in itself.

But Romans 5 dares us to look deeper. It says trials don’t just shape our suffering—they shape our strength. They carve out endurance. They build character. And that character gives birth to a confident hope that will never disappoint.

This kind of hope? It doesn’t ignore pain—it stands up in the middle of it and says,
“We’re still here. We’re still moving. And God’s still good.”

Thriving isn’t about pretending you’re okay. It’s about leaning into God’s love so deeply that even in grief, you’re still growing.

What Does Thriving Look Like?

It doesn’t look like perfection. It looks like intentionality. Small choices. Brave joy. A decision to pursue healing when numbing out would be easier.

It looks like couples saying:

“We’re going to laugh again.”
“We’re going to find joy in the waiting.”
“We’re not just going to hold on, we’re going to live.”

Practical Ways to Move from Survival to Thriving

Acknowledge Your Pain

Don’t stuff it down. Unprocessed grief doesn’t disappear; it just hides and grows heavy. Talk to your spouse. Call a trusted friend. Sit with a counselor. Say the hard things out loud. Healing begins when we stop pretending we’re fine.

Engage with God’s Word

If your Bible’s been gathering dust, crack it open. Or open the Bible app on your phone. Scripture reminds us that we’re not alone and that our stories are still being written. Here’s an example: Lamentations 3:22-25, Proverbs 3:5&6, Psalm 73:26

Make Prayer Simple

Prayer doesn’t have to be complicated. Prayer is simply opening your hearts together and inviting God into the real and raw moments. A conversation where He meets you both with comfort, clarity, and truth that draws you closer to Him.

Cultivate a Fun Mindset

Grief can make life feel heavy, but remembering to have fun reminds us what it’s like to breathe again. Try something new together. Cook a yummy recipe. Take a spontaneous road trip or simply go for a walk. Fun doesn’t ignore the pain; it reminds you that life still holds moments worth savoring.

Balance Joy and Grief

Make room for both. You can love deeply and still long for what’s missing. You can celebrate and grieve, let go and still hold on to hope.

Create Boundaries

Not every event deserves your presence. Not every person deserves access to your heart. Protect your peace. Protect your energy. It’s not selfish; it’s stewardship of what gives life to your relationship.

Shift Your Perspective

Sometimes, thriving begins with seeing things a little differently. A new morning routine. A soul-filling hobby. A walk with someone who makes you laugh. Small shifts make a difference.

Response:

Pick one of the practices above and try it this week but do it with intention. Maybe it’s planning a quiet dinner, starting a scripture journal, or reaching out for counseling. Choose one step and take it together.

Write it down:

What will we try?

When will we do it?

How might it bring connection, healing, or joy?

Reflection:

• Where have we just been surviving?
• What does thriving look like for us, realistically, right now?
• Are there boundaries we need to set?
• What stirs joy, peace, or connection in us as a couple?
  

Make a note to process what God might be inviting you into. Let your reflections be honest and gentle.

🛐 Prayer

God, You see the weight we’re carrying. You know the loss we can’t put into words. Thank You that we don’t have to just survive this season; we can actually thrive in it, with You. Breathe joy into places that feel numb. Show us things that will bring life to us again. Help us hold hands, even when hope feels heavy. And remind us over and over that we were made for more than survival. Amen.

You were made for more than just survival, you are made to thrive!