Solo Parenting as a WidowНамуна

Solo parenting can be one of the scariest parts of widowhood, no matter the age of your child/children. You simply did not expect to have to face this journey on your own, and now you are facing it for the foreseeable future, and it can make the future seem bleak.

Parenting our children through grief is never easy, and we are not given a road map for exactly how to do it. However, just like when you became a parent and there was no book that gave all the answers, you will learn as you go, and you have the best guide in our Heavenly Father. He is the ultimate guide and example of how to parent, even in the worst of times.

You may face things that you never expected, nor would have ever wanted to face as a solo parent. You may feel inadequate, and you most definitely will be afraid, but take heart, God is always with you. He will be your guide, your protector, your comfort, and your strength. You are never truly alone in this journey.

Another important reminder is that our children need support and love for what they are going through. Their pain is different from ours, and they may need to find counseling, understanding friends, or support from family. That does not mean you are failing as their parent. We all need support, so there is never anything wrong with getting help from others. Listen to your children, love them, and let them have a safe space to share about their grief. Just like the pain we face after losing our spouse, no one can take away that pain, but we can support and love each other through it.

Seek resources in your local area for your children. Older children often benefit from GriefShare or counseling. Younger children may need talk therapy or even group counseling with other children who have lost a parent. Some children benefit from having another adult in their life that they can share with. This may be a relative, a youth pastor, or even a family friend they trust. Just make sure you listen to your children and their pain and do what you can to find them the help they need.

Finally, I implore you to know that God loves your family. It may look different, and it may feel incomplete, but God loves you and wants you to succeed as a parent and as a family. You are not worthless. In fact, God calls others to support you, because in His eyes, you are so valuable. Allow others to show His love to you. Allow friends and family to be that extra support in your children’s lives, and don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. The people of God are called to support widows, and allowing them into our lives enables them to fulfill this calling. You will survive this with God’s help and the help of the people He places in your life. You are equipped and seen!

CHALLENGE:

Spend some time reflecting on what you have learned the last 5 days. Make a list of what God is showing you that He wants you to do for your children or for yourself as a solo parent. Seek help from those in your life who are trying to support you, and ask them to support your children in real and practical ways.