Afraid, but Doing It Anyway

At the time of my encounter with the Holy Spirit, when He told me to stop living in my head, I was a newly ordained pastor. Our church had been closed for quite some time because of our pastor's long illness and subsequent passing. I loved our community, but it had been dying spiritually for years. Church attendance was down in most churches, and few of them had any young people left at all. I sensed a dark cloud over our entire area and had been praying about it for years. So, God led me to reopen the church, and if nothing else, use it as a home base for an online ministry. I started a social media page for our church and upgraded the website I had created for our congregation a couple of years earlier.

The Lord was nudging me to start a women’s prayer warrior group, but I just didn’t have a clue where to begin. The desire was to have women from different churches in our area so we could bind together in prayer for the needs of our community. I would think about it and how and when it would begin, where, who to invite, how to approach others about being a part of it, etc. Every time I started to do an event invitation online, I would start having those thoughts of how unworthy and ill-prepared I was to be teaching others the Word of God or leading others. I was terrified. I had spent several weeks agonizing about it and knew the Lord was prompting me to begin. However, things came to a head one morning when I got another word from Him.

This time, He said clearly, almost audibly, “If you don’t do what the Father has asked you to do, He is going to give your assignment to someone else.” Boom! This was the most terrifying message of all! I felt like one of those people we read about in the Old Testament, and a high priest would come to them to deliver a stern warning from God about what they would lose because of their disobedience. Some of the examples below popped into my head:

• Saul was no longer allowed to be the king of Israel.

Samuel replied to Saul, “I will not return with you. Because you rejected the word of the Lord, the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.” (I Samuel 15:26, CSB)

• Neither Moses nor Aaron was allowed to go into the promised land.

“For both of you broke faith with me among the Israelites at the Waters of Meribath-kadesh in the Wilderness of Zin by failing to treat me as holy in their presence. Although from a distance you will view the land that I am giving the Israelites, you will not go there.” (Deuteronomy 32:51-52, CSB)

• The Israelites were forced to wander in the wilderness until all who had disobeyed passed away. Only Jacob and Caleb were allowed to enter, along with those who were under the age of 20 at the time of their exodus from Egypt.

“You will bear the consequences of your iniquities forty years, based on the number of the forty days that you scouted the land, a year for each day. You will know my displeasure. I, the Lord, have spoken. I swear that I will do this to the entire evil community that has conspired against me. They will come to an end in the wilderness, and there they will die.” (Numbers 14:34-35, CSB)

You can see why I felt the seriousness of this final warning to step out and do as I was told. We cannot ignore the prompting of the Spirit for any reason or at any time. If it is weighing heavily on your heart to do something for the Lord, it is the Holy Spirit convicting you, and it is wise to follow through.

So even though I was still terrified after the last stern warning, I swallowed my pride and fought down the fear. I made a video to post on social media about the prayer warrior group I wanted to start in our area. Notice that? I was afraid, but I did it anyway! A couple of other ladies stepped up to help spread the word, and our journey began and is still going. We have grown so much together and have learned more about our Father along the way. The Lord has taught me a great deal as I reach out to disciple others, and He continues to disciple me, too. This can be your story of success as well. Just wipe away all the doubts because our Lord definitely has no doubt you can do anything He asks you to do, and let’s face it, His opinion is the only one that counts.