Don't Quitਨਮੂਨਾ

When you want to quit because you’re…in conflict with someone

Interpersonal conflict is one of the greatest challenges we face in life. Ten people can give you feedback, nine of them say uplifting and positive things, but one person says something negative. What do you remember? The negative.

Conflict stresses us out. When we are stressed, we go into the “fight or flight” response God has designed in us to keep us safe. The problem is, our brain doesn’t distinguish between being chased by an elephant trying to trample us or an angry word that is spoken by a co-worker or boss. Conflict threatens our safety, and we want to run, hide, fight, or quit. We want to survive.

One of the most important things to make us feel safe is to know we aren’t alone and we have an advocate on our side. Faith reminds us that Jesus is Immanuel—the God who is with us. Scripture is the truth that grounds us in God’s reality, that we can do all things through Jesus, who strengthens us. Jesus is with us. Jesus is for us. Jesus advocates for us.

The emotions that come with being in conflict are real and shouldn’t be ignored. But our emotions don’t have to determine our actions. Maturity is moving from being a person who is reacting to the world around us to being a person who is responding in Christlikeness according to who God is and what he calls us to do.

Relationships are critically important for health and well-being. But the voice we need to pay attention to first and foremost is the voice of God, by the Holy Spirit, through the wisdom of the scriptures.

Conflict with others is going to happen. But you have a choice in what your response is going to be.

Keep Going. Don’t Quit.

Questions to Consider

• Where does stress show up in your body? In other words, how do you know you are feeling threatened? If you don’t know, ask someone close to you; they will likely have valuable insight.
• What is your default action when in conflict? What do you see as an alternative Christlike response?

Actions to Take

• Don’t hide from or deny conflict with others, but rather call it what it is.
• Read Matthew 18:15-20 and follow Jesus’ instructions when you find yourself in conflict.

Prayer to Make

Jesus, you have instructed me to forgive as I have been forgiven. You have told me to forgive “seventy times seven” times, which seems impossible! Help me not to run and hide from conflict but to honor you and others. I trust you are with me and for me. Help me hear your voice above all other voices. Amen.