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The Doorway of Anxiety

The first time I had an anxiety attack, I was in church. About 9 years old… and I had no idea what was happening to me… I was overwhelmed with fear, my heart was racing, and adrenaline surged through my stomach.

Hey, I’m Joshua Gordon. I’m a pastor, dad to five kids, and a small business owner. For as long as I can remember, I’ve lived with anxiety. For much of my life, anxiety was an enemy, something to be resisted and overcome.

But the longer I walk with Jesus, the more I realize that my anxiety is a side-effect… It’s the result of Josh Gordon taking responsibility for something outside of my own control.

I find enormous comfort knowing that there’s nothing in my anxiety, in my overwhelm, in my stress that’s bigger than Who Jesus is, or what He can do. And, my experiences aren’t foreign to him. He’s breathing with me, feeling my pulse race. He’s familiar with the nausea rolling over in my stomach and the tight knot that obstructs my breathing.

Better still: He’s not afraid of it…

As uncomfortable as my anxiety attacks are, I’ve begun to recognize that they are also a gift… they point to my need for Jesus. They underline my own inability to connect any dots for myself, apart from him.

More often than not, my feelings of anxiety are signal flags, drawing attention to the parts of my heart where Jesus wants to bring healing. He is the Great Physician, right? He longs to bring healing to wounds in my heart, below the surface of my awareness.

Keeping my eyes on Jesus in the midst of an anxiety attack requires that I engage with Jesus, and following His leading… and most often, at the root of an anxiety attack, He points to a lie I’m believing—usually about His willingness or capability to take care of me and my family.

As you move through your day and find yourself caught in the grip of stress or shame or anxiety, pray this simple prayer, and listen patiently for His response.

“Father, show me the lie that’s preventing me from experiencing your perfect peace in this.”

In a weirdly ironic and beautifully redemptive way, my anxiety has been the doorway through which I am experiencing more and more of the perfect peace that my loving Father has to offer.

Pastor Joshua Gordon
New Life Fellowship
Cambridge, Ontario, Canada
https://www.joshuagordon.ca