A Christian Parent's Guide to Navigating Youth SportsSýnishorn

Replacing Entitlement with Gratitude in Youth Sports

In a national survey, over thirty-five thousand sport officials were asked to name the age or level of sport where they felt sportsmanship was at its worst. Over half the officials pegged competitive youth leagues as showing the worst sportsmanship. As we spend more and more money on youth sports, officials are telling us that it's producing kids who behave in ways that a Christian parent would find inconsistent with the faith we profess.

And it’s not just our kids. It’s us.

The officials surveyed overwhelmingly said that parents are the biggest culprits when it comes to poor sportsmanship. Yikes! How does this happen? One thought: as we spend more on youth sports, our expectation of that experience reaches unrealistic levels. When an official makes a bad call or a coach makes a mistake, we respond in ways consistent with our expectations, but often inconsistent with our faith.

As Christian parents, what do we do to disrupt and stunt the growth of entitlement in our kids (and in us)? How do we work with God to counter the spirit of entitlement that’s become so easy to embrace?

We practice gratitude.

In fact, 1 Thessalonians shows us that we should "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV). Did you catch that? It’s actually God’s will for us to give thanks in all circumstances! Yes, even when the ref makes a bad call. Yes, even when our kid gets benched or cut from the team. Yes, even when…you can fill in the blank. Gratitude is the “gotta have it” play in God’s playbook.

Entitlement is easy. It is frictionless. Gratitude requires work and takes intentionality. But it’s actually practicing gratitude that produces grateful people. Puritan pastor Richard Baxter rightly points out, “Resolve to spend most of your time in thanksgiving and praising God. If you cannot do it with the joy that you should, yet do it as you can…. Doing it as you can is the way to be able to do it better. Thanksgiving stirreth up thankfulness in the heart.” Baxter argues that choosing to practice gratitude changes the heart over time, just like choosing to practice sport skills changes performance over time. New movements eventually start to feel natural, provided we put in the necessary practice.

Yes, gratitude takes practice. It’s a muscle that must be exercised. And lucky for us, youth sports offer much more than trophies or scholarships—they are a spiritual training ground where we can help our kids get in the appropriate reps.

Action Steps:

We can start with small, intentional steps:

• Encouraging our children to thank their coaches. Maybe even have them write notes of appreciation at the end of the season.
• Pause before a game to recognize the gift of simply being able to play.
• When disappointment comes—missed shots, tough losses, unfair calls—we teach our kids to look for silver linings. Even sports setbacks can be used by God to build character, perseverance, and humility.
• Ask ourselves questions like: Where have I seen entitlement creeping into my child’s (or my own) mindset around sports? How can I help my athlete recognize overlooked blessings and people? What’s one intentional act of gratitude I can encourage this week?

Ultimately, gratitude is more than good manners. It is spiritual resistance against a world that trains our children to demand more and thank less.

Prayer:

Lord, help me and my child to see every practice, every game, and every breath as a gift from you. Teach us to be thankful in all circumstances and to reflect your goodness in how we respond. Amen.