A Christian Parent's Guide to Navigating Youth SportsSýnishorn

Spirit-Led Self-Control in the Heat of Competition

Self-control is the virtue of mastering one’s inner thoughts, actions, passions, desires, and words. It is a competence acquired when we repeatedly submit our whole selves to the Holy Spirit. The Bible talks about self-control as our ability to fight against the natural impulses that stem from our sinful nature. It’s about disciplining the parts of us that try to push God to the side as we go through life.

In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul uses a sports metaphor to help us understand the relationship between self-control, character development, and faithful living:

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified" (1 Corinthians 9:24–27 ESV).

Paul basically says that most athletes train and discipline themselves to get a trophy that’s just going to end up in the garbage one day. Not us. We train and exercise self-control because it’s the playbook for faithful living now and the promise of reward in the future.

What does self-control have to do with youth sports? Showing up to the field or court on any given weekend will provide the answer.

As parents and coaches, we’ve all witnessed (or participated in) sideline meltdowns, harsh words, or retaliatory actions that feel “justified” in the heat of competition. A lack of self-control is one of the most consistent character failures witnessed at sporting events. Yelling, retaliation, and even physical aggression are not uncommon experiences. And when behavior like this goes unchecked, the message becomes clear: “Winning justifies whatever it takes.”

But Scripture calls us to a different path, one marked by Spirit-led self-control.

Parents, youth sports offer fertile ground for this kind of training! Our kids' involvement in sports is the opportunity of a lifetime. Our children (and us) are regularly tested through missed calls, losing games, rough opponents, and disappointing performances. These aren’t obstacles. They are opportunities. Each competition is a chance to teach our kids that self-control isn’t weakness—it’s actually strength under submission.

So, how do we begin teaching self-control to our young athletes?

Action Steps:

• Help them pause and breathe. Deep breathing calms the nervous system and creates space to choose a godly response. Teach them to use physical reminders (like a wristband or a silent signal from the stands) to slow down in emotional moments.
• Pray Scripture with them before the competition. Verses like Psalm 141:3 or 2 Timothy 1:7 prepare their hearts to respond with grace under pressure.
• Model and reinforce delayed gratification. When your child sacrifices short-term comfort, like choosing hard work, rest, or respect for authority, you can affirm that this is the Spirit’s work bearing fruit. They need us to help make that connection.
• Teach the heart behind self-control. It’s not just about avoiding bad behavior—it’s about honoring God. When our kids hold their tongues or walk away from conflict, they reflect Jesus.

Prayer:

Lord, help us and our children to walk by the Spirit, not by our flesh. Teach us to value self-control—not for applause, but as an act of worship. In every win and every loss, may we reflect you. Amen.