In the Beginning: A Study in Genesis 27-36Minta

‘What Happens When Adult Children Have a Controlling Parent?

After beginning his relationship with God on the way, Jacob finally arrives at the home of his uncle Laban, his mother Rebekah’s brother. Jacob is welcomed into the family there. What happens next is a perfect example of Jacob reaping what he sowed. Jacob appears to think his life is going pretty well after tricking his brother Esau out of his birthright and blessing. He escaped home before his brother could murder him, was welcomed into his uncle’s household, and met the woman of his dreams, the lovely Rachel. He even kisses her before they are married, the only time in the Bible where a believing man kisses a woman who is not yet his wife.

Rachel had a sister named Leah, who was 14 years older. Both girls were unmarried, Rachel likely because of her younger age and Leah because she had a wandering crooked eye. Jacob wanted to marry one of the sisters and, not unexpectedly, chose the younger and more attractive sister with functional eyes. The tricky Laban made Jacob the trickster work for him for seven years to earn the right to marry his youngest daughter, Rachel. This was likely necessary because Jacob arrived empty-handed and would have to work to pay the bride price.

Finally, Jacob got to marry Rachel. But when Jacob rolled over to look into the eyes of his lovely wife, he was staring into the crooked eyes of Leah rather than the lovely eyes of Rachel. This suggests that Jacob had consumed more alcohol than usual; the face of his bride was covered during the wedding; and the candles in their bridal chambers that night were extinguished.

Laban tricked the trickster and married off his oldest daughter. When Jacob confronted Laban for doing to him exactly what Jacob had done to Esau, his uncle stated that it was customary for the oldest child to be married off before the younger. Even though Laban’s actions were wicked, his reasoning was valid. And, in a bitter irony, the godless Laban was actually acting godlier than Jacob, who ended up in Laban’s household because he robbed his brother of the firstborn rights. In this, we see that God was not pleased with Jacob’s deceitful actions and sought to teach him a lesson through 14 years of hard work.

Jacob loved Rachel so much that he worked another seven years for her father, Laban, to earn her hand in marriage. Jacob finally married Rachel after 14 years of waiting and loved her more than her sister Leah. This tragic truth will cause problems in the subsequent chapters of Genesis since the conflict between Esau and Jacob is echoed in the conflict between Rachel and Leah and their sons.

Laban serves as a tragic example of a controlling parent of adult children. He is so determined to have Leah married first and enrich his estate that he sets up an abusive family legacy with horrible division and competition, as we will learn in the ensuing chapters of this tragic family tale.

Question:

Even though Laban is ungodly and cruel, how is God using Laban, who is much like Jacob, to change Jacob’s personality? How has God used some bad people doing bad things to help grow good character in you?