Grief Survivor: 30 Steps Toward Hope and Healing Näide

WHAT WE SAY MATTERS

At the wake, after a funeral, even at the soccer field, you may have heard well-meaning people offer platitudes to fill the awkward silence. Sometimes there are no words that will make the circumstance better. Sometimes words actually make the situation worse.

Maybe you've heard some of these not-so-helpful statements:

"God must have needed another angel in heaven."

"You're young. You can marry again."

"You can always have more children."

"They're in a better place now, right?"

"I know exactly how you're feeling."

If you're tempted to strike back and set the record straight, take a deep breath and count to ten. Hopefully the well-meaning person will learn from your silence!

A few words that might help:

"I'm so sorry."

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling."

"I'd love to bring you a meal in a couple weeks."

Reflect: If there's something someone said or did that was especially comforting, write about it; and if you're up to it take a moment and thank them today.