The Ministry TableSample

When Obedience Feels Like Disobedience

What if the most obedient thing you could do right now… is walk away?

After a miracle feeding thousands, you’d expect Jesus to keep the momentum going. The crowd was hungry for more. The moment was ripe for impact. But instead… He sent His team away and shut the meeting down.

Sometimes the hardest yes in leadership is the one that looks like a no.

As a 3rd generation pastor’s kid, a pastor’s wife, and a ministry leader for over 25 years, I know how deeply we’re wired to serve, solve, and sacrifice. Stepping back can feel like failure. We’re trained to spot momentum and ride it. It’s what fills the seats, grows the ministry, and fuels the vision. But momentum without God’s timing isn’t power—it’s presumption.

Jesus did two radical things: He made His disciples leave, and He dismissed the crowd. No follow-up meeting. No networking reception. No assimilation process.

How would that make sense today?

• After leading a core group through discipleship, you go silent.
• After a powerful week of prayer, you skip the closing night.
• After record-breaking Easter attendance, you press pause on the plan.

It makes no sense… unless God said so.

And let’s be honest—we don’t just fear missing the opportunity; we fear being misunderstood. Will they think I’m lazy? Checked out? Irresponsible? But when God says, “Go rest,” “Go hide,” or “Go heal,” it’s not punishment. It’s preservation.

In the Kingdom, rest is not retreat—it’s repositioning. The boat wasn’t taking the disciples away from ministry; it was carrying them toward their next assignment.

Let this settle: just because they still need you doesn’t mean you’re disobeying by leaving. Jesus never confused constant availability with faithfulness. Neither should we.

Reflection: Where have I been second-guessing God’s invitation to rest or retreat—thinking it’s disobedience, when it’s actually holy obedience?

Prayer: Lord, give me the courage to obey You even when it feels like I’m disappointing others. Help me trust that leaving the crowd is not rebellion—it’s protection. Teach me the rhythm of grace-led obedience. Amen.

Nikiwe Bilima-Bugingo
Director of Development, XP Gathering
Riverside, CA
https://www.xpgathering.com