Restoring Your Soul - Living a Limitless LifeSample

Understanding "Buttons"

“Triggers” are those pesky little things that cause a seemingly irrational outburst. However, the truth is that when we overreact to something we experience or to something that someone says, pain from our past has been triggered. In other words, someone has pushed our buttons. Our reaction usually has little to do with the person with whom we’re currently engaging. And because of that truth, we often surprise ourselves with our insecurity or defensive reactions.

Buttons don’t just “happen.” They originate from a place of pain. Something has happened in our past that has created this soft spot. Just as when you inadvertently walk into a chair and it leaves a visible bruise, trauma or abuse creates invisible bruises. If a person presses on a physical bruise, it is painful because it has triggered the pain of the initial injury. Likewise, an emotional bruise remains when we have had painful experiences that we haven’t taken the time to heal. When an experience or conversation presses on that soft spot, we react instead of respond.

The good news is that we can learn to identify and heal our emotional triggers, also known as our “buttons.” When experiencing the pushing of a button, it is necessary to ask ourselves two critical questions:

1. What am I feeling? (Identify the feeling lurking underneath the anger).
2. Under what circumstances have I felt this feeling before? (Try to think about specific memories/situations when you felt similar).

If we can find the answers to those two questions, we can discover the root of our woundedness. Sometimes, the answer to the second question may be an altercation with a co-worker last week, a previous spouse fifteen years ago, or a coach, teacher, or parent from thirty-five years ago.

Often, there are several events throughout our lifetime when we have felt the same disrespect, rejection, or disappointment that the current situation triggered. Once the source of our pain has been identified, we can learn how to express our feelings, change our thinking, and forgive (if necessary) to resolve the trauma.

Although we can’t control everything we have experienced, we can control how we respond to our emotional pain. A restored soul has processed the emotions associated with the original events and has learned to reframe those circumstances so that the woundedness no longer triggers an unnecessary reaction. When we pause before reacting, we give God space to guide our responses. This breaks the cycle of impulsive reactions and fosters peace.

I Invite You to Ask Yourself:

1. What situations or words tend to trigger a strong emotional response in me?
2. Can I trace my reactions to a specific experience or an unresolved hurt?
3. How might identifying these triggers help me respond with grace?

I Invite You to Pray:

Lord, help me recognize the areas of my heart that are tender from past pain. Please bring to my attention anything I need to be aware of to pursue a deeper level of emotional healing. Teach me to pause when I am triggered and seek Your guidance and help me respond with wisdom, patience, and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.