Conversations on Death & Dying That We Need to Have Now & Again Next YearSample

Real-Life Endings: Examples from My Own Life

My wife's mother:

My wife’s mother died slowly.

From the time my wife was a pre-teen, her mother was in and out of hospitals with one diagnosis after another. First it was tuberculosis, then other illnesses, and finally cancer.

For much of her final years, my wife’s mom was more a patient than a parent. My wife carried much of the household responsibility on the farm from an early age.

While my wife’s faith remained, her hope in miracles was shaken.

My own mother:

Other times, a person reaches peace and asks God to bring their life to a close. That’s what happened with my mother.

After a long decline, she asked my wife and me to pray that she would die quickly and peacefully. She had made peace. There was no fear. My father nodded in agreement, and we prayed.

The next day, mom passed quietly beside her bed. Her request had been answered. It remains one of the clearest examples I’ve seen of answered prayer and faithful surrender.

My father:

I’ve also witnessed sudden death.

My father had gone to the hospital for a routine test and was resting afterward. While taking a nap, he died in his sleep – likely from a blood clot or aneurysm.

This was years after my mother’s passing. By then, he had become more relaxed, engaged, and joyful in family life. He was enjoying his grandchildren.

His sudden death caught us all by surprise, but we were at peace.

He had lived well and was ready. His work was done.

My wife's father:

Not every death fits a clean category. My father-in-law experienced what we might call a hybrid death.

Remarried after losing his first wife, his final years were marked by exhaustion and sadness. After breaking his hip, he told me he’d rather stay in the hospital than go home.

My wife and I sensed his readiness to move on. But others weren’t so ready, including the other children who kept in prayer for his recovery.

His second wife even took action, having a pacemaker implanted without consulting the family, hoping to prolong his life – largely for financial reasons.

Although the family was divided, my wife and I were grateful. He had finally entered into that eternal rest he so deeply desired.

Death needs to be talked about - in advance:

Every one of these stories taught the same thing: death is deeply personal, often unpredictable, and not something to postpone thinking about or talking about with your loved ones.

It must be faced honestly. And it must be faced with faith. In advance.

Take time to reflect:

• Which type of death have you witnessed personally? How did it shape your view?
• Is there someone near the end of life who needs your attention now?
• If your life ended within a year, what would you want your family to know?