Hope Between Heartbeats

My eyes darted across the ICU room, landing on a screen filled with cryptic words: “vancomycin 464, bicarb 775, propofol 10.” Nothing made sense. I watched as the nurse adjusted the intubation tubes draped across my unconscious mother and calmly said, “Your mom is in an acidic coma and on life support.” Terror coursed through me. How could this be happening?

Hours later, the doctor entered with a somber face and pulled my sister and me aside. My mother was in multi-organ failure and might not survive the night. As his words sank in, we turned to prayer. I clung to God’s promises, unsure of the outcome but certain of his power. That night, against all odds, my mother made it through.

It marked the start of a grueling season. For weeks, we rotated between home and the hospital while she remained on life support. Doctors warned that she may have suffered a stroke and might wake up with no brain or motor function. They urged us to consider removing life support and starting palliative care but advised us to wait a bit longer. With most of our family out of state and only dysfunctional relatives nearby, the burden felt like ours alone.

Then a friend asked me something that shifted my perspective: “I know it feels like this is all on you, but is that what God is saying?” That question changed everything. I realized I was acting out of obligation to people—not obedience to God.

I answered hospital calls during work, paused my life, and managed tense family dynamics. But in my effort to do everything, I had forgotten to let God carry what I couldn’t. This trial taught me the difference between striving and surrender.

Just before we had to make a decision about life support, something miraculous happened: My mother opened her eyes. Despite the doctors’ grim predictions, she slowly recovered. She wasn’t paralyzed, and she could speak.

Through it all, I learned that we’re not meant to shoulder life’s heaviest burdens alone. When everything is uncertain, God invites us to lean on him, our strength in chaos, our hope in despair. With him, all things truly are possible.

By Hillary Caitlyn Phillips

Take a moment to reflect on areas in your life where you may be acting out of obligation to people rather than heartfelt service to God. Then ask the Lord to reveal how or if he wants you to respond differently.