Finding Mr. Right - Dating for Christian WomenSample

DEALBREAKERS

Identifying your deal breakers is one of the most important steps in building a relationship that honors God and protects your heart. Deal breakers are about knowing what aligns with your faith, values, and life goals. In a culture that often encourages or pressures extreme compromise in the name of love, it’s essential to be intentional about what you are and aren’t willing to compromise.

One foundational deal breaker is being equally yoked, which is rooted in scripture. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" This principle is crucial because your faith forms the bedrock of your life. When two people aren’t aligned spiritually, it can lead to deep-seated conflicts down the road, even if everything else seems to match up in the early stages of dating. Being equally yoked means that you and your potential partner are committed to walking with God together and building a relationship rooted in Christ, while also aligning on other foundational things as well.

It’s important to remember one of the best pieces of advice when it comes to dating: “Never date someone you wouldn’t marry.” Dating is the path to marriage. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t align with your values, your vision for the future, or your deal breakers, then continuing the relationship may only lead to heartache down the road. The truth is, if you wouldn’t consider them as a lifelong partner, why invest your time and heart (and theirs) into something that won’t lead to a godly and fulfilling marriage?

This is where deal breakers come into play. Whether it’s being equally yoked, aligning on the desire for children, or having similar lifestyle choices, knowing your non-negotiables helps protect your heart. Some deal breakers can be about personal preferences, and there’s nothing wrong with that. God has designed each of us uniquely, and what works for one person may not work for another. Perhaps you know that you want to marry someone who desires to have many children, or maybe you feel strongly about marrying someone who prioritizes physical health or financial stewardship. These preferences reflect your personality and the life you envision, and it’s okay to hold onto them as you date intentionally.

The wisdom behind this concept is also echoed in Amos 3:3: "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Walking together in life, especially in marriage, requires that you share foundational beliefs and values. If you’re not aligned in key areas—such as faith, purpose, and how you view the future—your relationship may feel like an uphill battle. Without this agreement, you may find yourselves constantly pulling in different directions, which can cause tension and division in your relationship. This is why recognizing your deal breakers early on is so important—it allows you to walk together in unity with someone who is truly heading in the same direction as you.

Remember, nobody is perfect – and neither are you. But, it’s important to have clarity on what you can work through in a relationship and what you cannot compromise on without putting your faith, future, or emotional health at risk. I want to encourage you to take the time to reflect on what matters to you before you dive deep into a relationship. Having these conversations early on, with both God and trusted mentors, can help you avoid heartache and set the foundation for a Christ-centered relationship that can thrive for the long haul.

If you're looking to learn more about how to evaluate if a man is "Mr. Right" access the 37-part and workbook for the Finding Mr. Right course here.