Don’t Burn Out, Burn Bright by Jason Young & Jonathan MalmSample

# Surround Yourself with the Right People Just like one small spark can start a destructive forest fire, one small spark can also create life-giving momentum. It can fuel excitement for a good cause. It can lead an organization to accomplish incredible things. It can give people vision and purpose. You can be that spark. Insecurity whispers that you aren’t enough, and it can eat away at your energy to lead. But to maintain healthy, high-capacity leadership, you need to have a strong inner sense that you are enough. But how do you know you’re enough? Like, really know? One factor that comes into play is the people you choose to surround yourself with. Our nature as leaders is to surround ourselves with people who either tell us how awesome we are or constantly bring up areas where we can improve. This tendency partially springs from our need for approval. We listen to advisers and friends to make sure we’re doing well. When the flatterers tickle our ears, we feel good. When the critics tell us what’s wrong, we know what we need to change. Hopefully, you aren’t surrounding yourself only with flatterers. At the same time, you shouldn’t surround yourself only with critics. Neither of those extremes is healthy. Critics who are only critics limit what we can accomplish. On the other hand, if we’re surrounded by yes-men and yes-women, it results in narcissistic leadership that burns out in brilliant blazes of ugliness. True friends lift us up as well as correct us. As healthy leaders, we need a balance. We need people who will encourage us in times of struggle but who will also tell us the truth even when it doesn’t feel good. The goal is to find balance in our friends so we don’t walk in the delusion of our awesomeness or in perpetual discouragement. Now, there’s one other unhealthy extreme in leadership. It’s the person who doesn’t ever let the people who support them know who they really are. We’re talking about the person who hides their true self and never lets anyone get close enough to them to truly support or critique the things they do. In order to be a healthy leader, don’t hide facts, doubts, hopes, and fears from your people—and don’t hide the true you! You’ll accomplish far more with a group of people who truly know you and support you. Surrounding yourself with the right type of people while remaining honest and sincere is one of the first steps to knowing you’re enough and to leading from a healthy place of confidence.