See-Through Marriage By Ryan and Selena Frederick


Day Four

Life-Giving Fruit

Scripture: Genesis 3:11–13; John 8:39–47; Galatians 5:16–24

Like Adam and Eve, we believe the lies of the enemy—especially when it comes to problems in our marriage. But the more we feel forced to hide, the less we’re able to engage deeply with each other in marriage. 

We believe that if our spouse knew what we had done in the past, for instance, or what we viewed online, or what we really believed about God, we wouldn’t be loved or respected. We may also try to justify our behavior based on lies: “He always goes out with his friends and spends money on whatever he wants. I don’t see why I can’t do the same.” “I don’t need to tell her who I’ve been talking to online. It would only cause a fight, and we are finally in a good spot.”

We can try to justify sin, but at the end of the day, God is still walking through the garden, calling out to us, and asking us who has been telling us we are “naked.”

Darkness and sin creep in slowly. They make us question everything, forcing our gaze horizontally—around us and our issues—rather than vertically, toward our Savior. 

The small, seemingly harmless, choices we make in our marriage begin coming from a place of selfishness and entitlement. They cause division, and they erode our marriage covenant. 

A life that is hiding in sin—ungoverned and without restraint—will bear fruit such as secret thoughts; division; disengagement; distraction; self-centeredness; selfishness about time, money, and energy; being overly concerned with appearances; no real sense of peace, because peace is based on relationships and things rather than God; impatience; impurity; using harsh language, employing gossip, and slandering others.

When we are walking in the light and we are living openly and transparently with our spouse while hidden in Christ, the motivation becomes less about our own needs and desires and more about our spouse’s needs and desires. 

A life hidden in Christ bears life-giving fruit from the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (See Galatians 5:22–23).

Jesus came to give us freedom from our fleshly desires so that we can walk and live by the Spirit, which in turn produces fruit that yields life and brings glory to God. 

What fruit, good or bad, do you see in your marriage right now?