“Value your spouse and realize that you hit the jackpot!”
One of the most profound things I saw in the research was when I asked the couples, “Who is responsible for the happiness in your marriage?” Most people on the anonymous survey said something like, “Really, it’s me. I work hard to be a good spouse, and it makes a difference.”
Strikingly, there was one exception: the happiest couples. They said the opposite. Eight out of ten pointed at their spouse and said, with gratitude in their heart: “It’s all her; she’s an amazing wife.” “It’s all him; I hit the jackpot.”
One of the greatest secrets to a happy marriage is gratitude. Thankfulness. An overt recognition that you hit the jackpot. And this comes when you realize that you are not perfect, and are so grateful to have someone who is on your side and loves you anyway.
It is so easy to focus on ways we’re doing great and what the other person is…. well… not. But the Word of God says that we should regard one another as better than ourselves. One spouse said everything changed in her marriage when “I allowed myself to see the amazingness of my spouse. I know that isn’t a word – but it should be!” There is such power in being attuned to the “amazingness” of your spouse. You live in a constant state of gratitude and awe of the blessing of being married to this wonderful person.
This requires you to take on the attitude of humility. Not every day is perfect and of course, there will be times your spouse makes mistakes. Rather than allowing yourself to think that you are pulling the weight of the relationship, you can choose to honor your spouse and what they do contribute. Christ chose to regard us above Himself. You can do the same for your spouse.
So the next time your spouse doesn’t take out the trash or seems to not appreciate you, choose to not roll your eyes. Ask God to reveal the ways you don’t always measure up, either, and just how much your spouse does do for you. Think about and honor the personality God has given them, that is exactly what you need. Think about and honor who they are.
As you realize your own shortcomings and affirm the value of your spouse, you will find gratitude popping up everywhere. And as you respond with true thankfulness, it will lead your spouse to want to become the person you already see them to be.
Every day, ask God to open your eyes to the “awesomeness” of your spouse. Seeing the best will bring out the best. And you will find that you have “hit the jackpot” all along in the partner God has blessed you with, to walk through life together.
Dear Lord, thank you for my spouse and blessing me with a partner for life. Open my eyes to see both my own shortcomings and their strengths. Give me that heart of gratitude for them. Even in moments of mistakes, let me value them and honor them above myself. Let an attitude of honor and thankfulness fill our marriage and all that we do for all the years to come. Amen.