Healing Family Relationships Through Acceptanceنموونە

Acceptance is not blind. When we choose to accept a family member with their baggage, it doesn't mean that we pretend the baggage doesn't exist. It is a choice of love. When God accepts us, He does not turn a blind eye to our sin. He sent his Son to die on a cross, forever conquering sin and death. In light of that sacrifice, He calls us to confession and repentance. Accepting your family member does not mean turning a blind eye to their selfishness. Accepting them does not mean pretending that their pattern of critical, biting words doesn't exist. In fact, true acceptance is a removal of any rose-colored glasses. It is more honest. It is more real. Acceptance is a wide-eyed, wise, intentional, and honest assessment of your family member’s issues, while at the same time choosing to be in a relationship with them.

Acceptance is not approval. Accepting a family member with their struggles is never an affirmation or approval of behavior that hurts you. Their choices may continue to hurt you. It may require continual spiritual work to forgive them. In some circumstances, other family members may not understand your choice to accept someone else's baggage. "How can you continue to have a relationship with them? Why do you keep putting up with all that junk?" They are free to make their own choices and set up their own boundaries. In these circumstances, you may need to explain to other family members that your choice of acceptance is not the same as approval.

Acceptance is not silent. There were times I needed to share my hurt feelings with my father when he prioritized his dating relationships over our family relationships. It was important for me to tell him how I felt. It did not go well. He did not understand my perspective or how his choice to be with his girlfriend (instead of me) had affected me. But it was important for me to tell him how I felt. It was healing for me, even if the conversation was, on its surface, unproductive.

Acceptance is not prayer-less. When the Lord gives us the grace to accept the realities of a broken relationship, there is peace, but there is also sadness. We want more. We want more than functional, cordial, and tolerable relationships in our homes. When we choose to accept a present and authentic relationship with our family member, it doesn't mean we want the status quo to continue. We are choosing acceptance because we are seeking healing, reconciliation, and transformation. Therefore, acceptance and prayer go together, accepting our family member with all their baggage, while praying for God to bring transformation to the relationship.

Reflection Question: Is there a family relationship where you need to increase your honesty? Is there a family relationship where you need to increase prayer?

Healing Family Relationships

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