Healing Family Relationships Through Acceptanceنموونە

The mind-set here is not, "I have it all together, but I need to be gracious and accept my messed-up family members." How quickly and easily pride fills our hearts! Instead, we begin with an honest assessment of our own chronic and ongoing character problems, and from that point of humility we ask for the Lord to help us accept our family members with all their baggage.

There is a "do unto others" principle here. I know that when I mess up and offend someone in my family, I expect that they will be gracious and forgiving. I want them to cut me some slack, to understand that I am under a lot of stress, or that I wasn't trying to be rude. In other words, I want them to forgive me quickly, overlook my offense, and move on without harboring bitterness toward me. We all want this kind of gracious response from our family members. Fair enough. But are we committed to providing this kind of response ourselves? We want consideration and tolerance but are often slow to give consideration and tolerance to others.

If we view ourselves as mature and healthy, but see our family members as "messed up," then it is easy for us to demand acceptance and forgiveness from them when we make mistakes. It may well be that you are more mature and relationally healthy than others in your family. If that is the case, that is not a warrant for pride, but you have a greater responsibility to exercise humility as you seek peace and healing in your family relationships.

Those who have been forgiven much, love much. In the same way, when we truly experience God's acceptance in light of our sins, we are able to accept others, in light of their sins.

Reflection Question: How might acknowledging your own "messiness" help you be more accepting of difficult family members?