Day 2: Share Your Joys and Sorrows

The practice of Community begins at the table – by simply sharing a weekly meal together. But when we come to the table, the challenge we face is: How do we not let our meal devolve into just dinner with friends? How does it become a communion with God and one another – a place to share our joys and our sorrows?

I want to show you two stories from Jesus’ life that showcase this kind of vulnerable communion, both from Mark 14. The first story takes place on the last night before Jesus' death. Jesus and his apprentices are around the table for the Passover Meal, an annual Jewish Feast. We know it now as the first Lord’s Supper.

Jesus commands his followers to continue this act of sharing a meal in his memory. And this is the practice that Jesus left his disciples to organize their life together around. But what we often miss in the modern church is that originally, not only was the Lord’s Supper a full meal, but it was also done in a spirit of joy!

The problem is that while our brains are made to run on joy, they are damaged by sin, which means they are bent toward the negative. And this matters because “the joy of the Lord is your strength,” as Nehemiah said. Which is more than a nice line; it’s a key insight. The joy of Jesus is what fills our inner beings with the strength to live the Way of Jesus. This is why Rick Howe said, “The pursuit of joy is a moral obligation.” (River of Delights)

There’s a discipline to this. The Catholic spiritual writer Henri Nouwen said it this way: “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” (Here and Now) Our relationship to joy isn’t passive, but active; we have a part to play. We do this by sharing our joys.

We also gain inner strength by actively sharing our sorrows. Right after the first Lord’s Supper, Jesus and his disciples migrate from the upper room to Gethsemane. Jesus calls only his three closest brothers to pray with him, not even his whole community. He asks them to just be with him, through the most trying moment of his life.

In this story, we learn from Jesus that we are to share not just the highs, but also the lows of life together. If Jesus needed a few friends to bear the weight of the cross, much much more do we need each other to bear our own crosses?

One of the most famous lines about church in the New Testament is from Hebrews 10: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10v24-25).

People often point out the author’s command to not give up meeting together. This is good to hear. But what we often miss is what we are to do when we meet together. He says, “Encouraging one another.” The reason meeting together regularly is so important is because we need encouragement constantly.

But for this to happen, we have to share what’s really going on underneath the surface. If we fake it – “How are you?” “Good!” – we will suffer alone. You can be around a table with a dozen people you know really well and still feel profoundly alone if you don’t actually share your heart.

So, sharing our joys and sharing our sorrows. Is this what your table conversation is like? Or is it more superficial?

This is scary for a lot of us, especially if you’ve been wounded by a past experience in community. Even if the first step for you is very small – it’s just to admit you had a rough day and not give any details – take it one step at a time. As you live in community, the more you share your heart, the more it will unblock your wounding and open it to healing.

The best way to do this, that I know, is simply to do life together around the table. This is the practice that Jesus left us to organize our life together.

Are you hearing how simple this is? Share a regular meal with a set group of brothers and sisters, put Jesus at the center of it, and share honestly in both the joys and the sorrows of life.

If you do these three simple things, you will be 90% of the way there. So this coming week, may you share more than a meal; may you open your hearts to each other, and share your joys and sorrows, as you share in the love of Jesus.