Create in Me a Clean Heart: The 40-Day Challenge (Psalms)预览

Long for God

Psalm 42

As the source is the beginning of any river, so Jesus is the beginning of my life. I remember my first internal struggles between doubt and faith, despair and desire for God’s presence. Unexpectedly, I found myself in a vortex, questioning true conversion. Everything I loved and did had become meaningless. I became strange to my friends, and I felt as if the enemy was saying to me through them, “Where is your God?!?” Although my soul was grieving, I decided to read John’s Gospel at night. In the depths of an abyss, I hoped for freedom from the slavery of insecurity. Liberation came, and I immersed myself in the water of baptism, sure that I had found the source of living water.

The writer of Psalm 42 was a Levite, a man dedicated to God, who took care of worship, sacrifices and offerings in the temple. That was his identity. The temple where he served had been destroyed, and he himself was in captivity. I think about the pain and agony he was going through. At the same time, I am fascinated by the freedom with which he leaves the religious framework, and by fully opening his heart he admits that he is shaken by the circumstances in which he finds himself. He was thirsty for God and an encounter with him. In that storm of feelings, his faith prevailed. I do not know if this Levite was among those who experienced the rebuilding of the temple, but he himself was certainly rebuilt. What a grace it is to feel a true longing for God. When we feel demolished like the temple, when we are devastated by life’s circumstances, like this Levite, we can hold fast to God’s promises. We know who our enemy is, but we also know who our savior is!