Honest With God: Finding Healing and Wholeness Through the PsalmsНамуна

We all have strengths and preferences. We like to show those parts of ourselves to the world. We tend to avoid our weaknesses, hide the parts we don't like, and never show people what we are ashamed of.

Even with our spouses and closest friends, spending mental energy managing our unfortunate tendencies and unwanted qualities can be tempting.

Last year, I was talking with my wife, and I spent a long part of our conversation contemplating how honest I wanted to be with her. I wasn't sure how she would react when I shared my thoughts on the subject we were discussing. Although we've been married for sixteen years, those fears still surface inside me.

However, the good news is that God doesn't react like we're afraid everyone else will respond.

King David understood this completely. He didn't want to compartmentalize his relationship with God, showing only his spiritual side while hiding his struggles, doubts, and failures. In Psalm 86, he prays, "Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever." (Psalm 86:11-12 NIV)

An undivided heart is not a perfect heart, but a whole heart. David is asking God to help him bring all of himself into their relationship, to worship with complete authenticity rather than partial performance. There are lots of places in this world where we feel like we have to perform, and God’s presence is not one of them!

Later, in Psalm 119, David demonstrates his experience of wholeness: "I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands." (Psalm 119:10 NIV) He's not seeking God with just his spiritual or religious side. David brought his entire self into the pursuit. At the same time, he asks God for strength to stay on this path because he knows his humanity and depravity are never far from him.

Wholeness, after all, isn't about having your life perfectly together. Wholeness about bringing everything about your life honestly before God, trusting that His love is big enough to embrace all of who you are. God brings healing and wholeness from the broken pieces of our past and our pain. In the same way that an artist makes a mosaic out of broken pieces of glass, God brings beauty from our brokenness and wholeness from our trauma and pain.

Because this is His goal for you, God doesn't want a fraction of you – He wants all of you! Tomorrow, we’ll close this journey and consider our next steps.