Honest With God: Finding Healing and Wholeness Through the PsalmsНамуна

Have you ever been scared of the sun setting?

I had always loved sunsets, annoying my wife by insisting on taking pictures of the most colorful ones. But when I endured a season of nightly panic attacks, I began to dread the sun setting. I knew that when it came time for me to go to bed, the potential for yet another panic attack was high. Sleep continued to escape my grasp, while anxiety was all too near. I wanted to escape my fears and run towards God.

It was during this "dark night of the soul" that I remembered King David had been to a similar desolate place. In Psalm 22, he cries out with words that Jesus Himself would later quote from the cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest." (Psalm 22:1-2 NIV)

David isn't speaking theoretically about God's absence; he's experiencing it viscerally. The God who had delivered him from lions and bears, who had empowered him to defeat Goliath, who had established his kingdom, seemed to have vanished when David needed Him most. While Biblical scholars are unsure exactly when David wrote these words, there were many moments in his life when he was on the run, driven into the wilderness, facing overwhelming obstacles.

In Psalm 10, David asks the question that echoes in every believer's dark season: "Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" (Psalm 10:1 NIV)

The opening words of Psalm 10 aren't the words of someone who has lost his faith. David pens words that reveal the heart of someone whose faith is deep enough to withstand honest questions. His relationship with God was intimate, including seasons of feeling abandoned without the relationship being destroyed by those feelings. Just as faith and doubt can co-exist, our relationship with God can handle intense prayers with a level of radical honesty.

In each of my dark seasons, I’ve realized that God's silence didn't mean God's absence. Sometimes, He allows us to experience spiritual dryness not as punishment, but as an invitation. We are invited to trust God even when we can't feel Him, to seek Him even when He seems hidden, to love Him even when His ways don't make sense.

Now, in all honesty, I’d rather get an invitation to an all-expense paid vacation than an invitation to a season of adversity in the wilderness. But, I don’t run God’s invitation office!

God's presence isn't dependent on our ability to sense it. In Deuteronomy 31, God promised never to leave nor forsake His people. And I’m grateful that God keeps His promises.

As we seek to become healthy and whole, expressing all the emotions God gave us, tomorrow, we’ll examine an emotion that we may have been told cannot be used in the presence of God. You may be surprised to read what the Scriptures clearly teach.