Parenting on Pointਨਮੂਨਾ

Teaching the Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a foundational principle of the Christian faith. It’s an essential part of living in healthy, loving relationships. Teaching our children to forgive others as God forgives us is crucial for their emotional and spiritual growth. Begin by helping your children understand what forgiveness means. Explain that forgiveness is letting go of anger and resentment and choosing to love instead of holding a grudge. Help them understand that forgiveness does not mean forgetting the hurt but rather releasing it to God.

Many years ago, there was a conflict between two of our children that started over something seemingly small—a misunderstanding about a shared game in the backyard. What began as a small squabble quickly escalated into a bigger conflict, with both children feeling hurt and wronged

We could see this was more than a simple disagreement—it was an opportunity to teach them about repentance, forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation.

That night after dinner, I (Mark) called a family meeting in the living room and shared the story from Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV), where Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone. Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” I explained that Jesus’ point was not about keeping count but about having a heart always ready to forgive as God forgives us.

I asked each of them, “How do you think it would feel to let go of this hurt and to forgive each other even if the other doesn’t deserve it?” They both looked down as Grace added, “Remember, forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Sometimes we choose to forgive because we trust that God will help us with the rest.” I asked them each to think of a time they’d been forgiven—for breaking something, lying, or hurting someone’s feelings—and tears filled their eyes as they realized the power of forgiveness they’d once received but were now withholding.

We prayed for humility to admit where each had been wrong and for courage to ask for forgiveness as well as the strength to give it. After the prayer, one of the children, through tears, apologized to their sibling for their harsh words and actions. The other child, also with tears streaming down their face, quickly replied, “I forgive you, and I’m sorry too.” There were hugs and more tears, this time tears of healing and relief. It was a turning point for our family and a reference we often looked back on whenever future conflicts arose.

Model forgiveness in your own life. Let your children see you forgiving others, whether it's a friend, a coworker, or a family member. Talk about the process of forgiveness and how it brings healing and peace to relationships. Encourage your children to forgive quickly and genuinely. Teach them to say “I forgive you” when someone apologizes, and help them understand that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Remind them that holding onto anger only hurts them and hinders their relationship with God.

Encourage them to ask God for the strength to forgive, especially when it’s hard. Help them understand that everyone makes mistakes and that sometimes people hurt others because they are hurting themselves. Teach them to look beyond the offense and see the person behind it. Create a forgiving environment in your home. Encourage open communication, where family members can express their feelings and seek reconciliation. Foster a culture of grace, where mistakes are met with understanding and forgiveness.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for forgiving us and teaching us to forgive others. Help us to let go of anger and resentment and to choose love and grace instead. Fill our hearts with Your peace and teach us to walk in forgiveness every day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.