Raising People, Not Productsਨਮੂਨਾ

For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley, is one of the best books on parenting I have ever read. Macauley teaches something in this book that has transformed me as a mom. It is simply this, "Children are born persons." She encourages parents to look at their children not as objects that need to be molded, but rather as individuals who are uniquely created by God.

Is this not beautiful? Our children are valuable right now at whatever developmental stage they are at, and with whatever skills they have. Do we look at our children as people who need be formed and molded, or with reverence?

When I first read this, on one level I intrinsically believed this and operated on this truth. But when I was honest with myself, I realized how easy it was to slip into what I now refer to as a "product mentality." This is the mindset that it is my job as Mom to make sure my children reach their full potential and maximize their gifts.

This perspective of reverence guards against the subtle trap of viewing your children through a "product mentality" - the exhausting mindset that measures your success as a mother by your child's achievements, behaviors, or potential. When you slip into this performance-driven approach, both you and your child feel the weight of impossible standards.

When you see your child with reverence, you communicate something profound: "I am amazed at who you are right now. I respect your unique personhood. I am in awe that I get to be your mother."

Reflection Question: How might viewing your child with reverence change your response to their current challenges or behaviors?