Raising People, Not Productsਨਮੂਨਾ

When I was a young mom, I was working part-time as a marriage and family therapist. In my counseling sessions, I noticed a pattern in my clients that stood out to me. Most of them, regardless of age, were dealing with some level of hurt and pain from their relationships with their parents.

This "pattern" was not limited to the people I saw professionally, but also to the students I worked with in youth ministry. I realized that none of the people who came to me for counseling were seeking help because they had trouble spelling, low ACT scores, struggles with math, or problems with athletics, or musical talents.

As God helped me put two and two together, I became aware that so many of the pressures that plagued my daily mom-life were not the things that were going to cause real problems in adulthood. In fact, the truth was quite the opposite. Many of the things I was prioritizing as a mom were casting shadows over the most important things.

As God cleared those big shadows, I began to see that what my kids need most is a healthy relationship with me! What if, instead of talking to therapists and youth pastor's wives about the hurts they have from me, maybe they could simply talk to me?

The most profound gift you can offer your children isn't a perfect education or extracurricular opportunities - it's the security of knowing they are unconditionally loved and eternally valued by their mother. Just as our Heavenly Father goes first in showing His love and commitment to us, we go first in showing our love and commitment to our children.

Reflection Question: What small step can you take today to prioritize relationship-building over performance expectations with your child?