Red Flags vs. Real Love: Discernment in Datingਨਮੂਨਾ

Day 5: Are They Rooted in Christ?

A strong, God-honoring relationship starts with the foundation of faith. But here’s an essential truth: faith isn’t something you can fake or force. It’s not just about sitting in church on Sunday or knowing a few Bible verses. Being rooted in Christ impacts every part of a person’s life, including how they love, resolve conflict, and honor their commitments.

When you’re in a dating relationship, it’s easy to focus on chemistry, shared interests, or long-term goals. While those things matter, they’re not enough on their own to sustain a relationship rooted in God’s plan for love. A partner’s relationship with Christ shapes the way they treat you. Without that spiritual foundation, their version of love may feel incomplete or lack the selflessness that reflects God’s heart.

Take a close look at the fruit of their faith. Remember, Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that “a tree is recognized by its fruit.” Do their words and actions line up with someone pursuing Christ? Are they kind, patient, and filled with integrity? Or do they get swept up in living for the moment, letting selfishness and worldly distractions drive their decisions?

This isn’t about expecting perfection — you won’t find it. None of us have it all together. But there is a difference between someone stumbling in their walk with Christ and someone who isn’t walking with Him at all. If their faith seems shallow or only present when it’s convenient, it’s worth asking how that might impact your relationship. Can someone detached from God truly love you in the sacrificial, unwavering way He intended?

Remember, love that reflects God’s design requires two people pursuing Him individually first. It’s not enough for one person to carry the spiritual weight of the relationship. A relationship built on uneven spiritual ground will often feel like a constant tug-of-war, with one trying to pull the other closer to God — a burden you were never meant to carry.

Take time to pray and reflect on where they stand with Christ. Are they encouraging your faith, or are they pulling you away from it? Are they leading you closer to God in how they speak, act, and live? Be honest with yourself.

God’s design for love starts with Him at the center. When both people are pursuing Christ wholeheartedly, that love can flourish into something incredible. It becomes a reflection of His faithfulness and grace. Trust God to guide your heart as you seek someone whose life is firmly rooted in Him. You were made for a love that honors Him, and He is faithful to provide it.

We invite you to join us on Upward if you are a Christian single looking for a meaningful relationship.