Identifying Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness serves no purpose in the life of a Believer. It won’t erase the offense, nor will it erase the memory of its pain. Unforgiveness simply creates chains of bondage that only grow heavier over time.

There are two primary ways the heart can keep us stuck. One, which we discussed yesterday, is in the willingness to follow our heart, refusing to obey God's voice instead. Another way the heart keeps us stuck is through harboring unforgiveness. I'm not sure if most Believers understand the weight of their own unforgiveness and the impact it is having on their lives. Harboring resentment towards those who have wronged us creates significant spiritual bondage. Unforgiveness is one of the strongest bondages Christians can face. Forgiveness isn't optional for the Believer. It is a requirement. Our salvation began with the undeserved forgiveness of our sins by our Savior. He calls us to surrender our need to be right, seek revenge, or demand an apology.

Forgiveness is a Kingdom principle—a spiritual law. Breaking it gives the enemy legal access to torment us through any number of areas. Considerations could include stress, fear, anxiety, and even ailments in the body. It's amazing how many people I talk to have years of unattended unforgiveness in their hearts, and the parallels between all the other bondages in their lives. They are riddled with fear or anxiety and never make the connection that unforgiveness could very well be key to their healing and freedom. If you think your unforgiveness is justified or harmless, think again.

There's no way around it. No matter how much it may hurt, we must take an honest inventory of our hearts and deal with any unforgiveness. Even secular science agrees that unforgiveness shows up in brain scans and can lead to physical consequences. We cannot compartmentalize it. Unforgiveness permeates every part of our lives. When we choose not to forgive, we re-live the pain repeatedly—and it holds us hostage. What is your freedom worth? Is holding onto that offense worth staying bound for decades? How is unforgiveness helping your life—or is it hindering your freedom?

To move into forgiveness, we must be intentional. Sit with the Holy Spirit in the quiet and ask for revelation on any lingering bitterness. We must pray, "Lord, search my heart. Let no unclean thing remain." Very often, He will reveal old wounds, even ones we thought we forgave! If a person comes to mind during your prayer time, write it down. This is the Lord revealing areas you need to address. Ask the Lord to soften your heart and help you release these people – even the abusers, betrayers, abandoners, and repeat offenders! Say their names aloud and forgive them, one by one. Don't rush this process of forgiveness. It may take days, weeks, or even months. But it's worth it. It breaks the enemy's access to our life. Also, remember that sometimes, the person we most need to forgive is ourselves. Many of us carry shame over the hurt we've caused. Be sure to include yourself in this process of forgiving if needed.

Points to Ponder:

• Is holding onto the offense worth forfeiting your peace and freedom? Unforgiveness doesn't punish the offender. It punishes you. What is the true cost of clinging to pain that God is asking you to release?
• Have you taken a true inventory of your heart? Sometimes, we say we've forgiven, but the bitterness remains hidden. What might God reveal if you paused and truly asked, "Lord, is there anyone I'm still holding in my heart?"
• Have you forgiven yourself? We often extend grace to others while silently condemning ourselves. What would change in your life if you finally let go of the shame and chose to receive the same forgiveness you offer?