When Your Child’s LifeStyle Choices Hurt – Guidance for Hurting ParentsSýnishorn

3. Is It Your Responsibility to Speak Up?

The tension keeps growing. You feel the weight of silence when you don’t speak up, and the sting of conflict when you do.

You’ve always believed that Christians are called to be a light in the darkness — a voice for truth. But how do you shine that light when it feels like every word you say drives your child further away?

You’ve thought, “If I don’t say something, who will?” And that thought feels noble. It feels biblical. There’s even a piece of popular wisdom about this often repeated in Christian circles:

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.”

That idea can be motivating — but it can also be misleading. It creates the impression that silence is complicity, and that unless you speak up, you are part of the problem.

But not every moment calls for confrontation. Not every situation is yours to fix. And not every truth must be spoken at once — or by you.

Scripture is clear that our responsibility to others shifts when they are no longer under our care.

“The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child.” – Ezekiel 18:20 NIV

Your grown child must now answer to God, not you. That’s a hard truth – but it frees you to focus on your own obedience and trust God with the rest. This also means that you are not the conscience or moral compass for your grown child.

Remember, they already know what you think and that you disapprove. Trying to force truth into someone’s life after they’ve stopped listening doesn’t strengthen your witness — it strains it. It builds walls, not relationship.

Now, it’s your call to be obediently quiet. And in the next reading, we’ll discover your most powerful asset in this struggle. For now, keep praying for them, and that you might hold your tongue – even when you can hardly bear it.