I'm Just a Guy: Who's AngrySýnishorn

Choosing a Better Response

Quick responses often lead to harsh consequences.

Nothing has taught me this more than being a dad. Fatherhood has been one of the greatest blessings of my life—and simultaneously, one of the most refining. With both teenagers and toddlers under one roof, I’ve become painfully aware of how unchecked anger can be damaging.

Lately, I’ve seen this surface in my 2.5-year-old son. Yes, you read that right—not 25, but 2.5. He’s already showing signs of emotional outbursts—rage-filled tantrums, clenched fists, and yes, even thrown punches. And if I’m honest, I know much of it is learned behavior. He’s mimicking what he sees in me and those around him. His older sisters are seasoned in sibling rivalry, but deep down, I know—he’s watching me most of all.

When I raise my voice, he raises his.
When I slam a door, he starts slamming things too.
When I toss a tool in frustration, he suddenly thinks that’s fair game.

The weight of that reality is sobering. He’s absorbing my actions like a sponge. And it’s not just him—anger, when left to grow in a room or in a group of men, spreads like wildfire. One negative spark can raise the temperature for everyone.

That’s why the words of James have been such a lifeline to me. He writes,

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19–20)

James offers us a better way—a challenge to respond thoughtfully, not react impulsively. This is the essence of self-control, one of the fruits of the Spirit.

So what does that look like for men who struggle with anger?

For me, it means choosing a purposeful pause.
It might mean stepping out of the room.
Taking a few deep breaths.
And most importantly—inviting God into the moment.

These are not signs of weakness; they are marks of spiritual maturity.

And let's be real—we’re not going to get this right every time. I know I don’t. There will be moments when your mouth outruns your maturity. When it happens, extend yourself grace—but also repent. Don’t hide behind excuses. Own it. Apologize. Reset. Reflect.

And it is the reflection that allows us to make even more sense of what caused us to be angry in the first place, to predict it in the future, and to make different choices.

When you do that, you're modeling something powerful for those around you. You’re showing what redeemed, self-controlled strength really looks like. And that kind of example can change everything—especially for the little eyes watching your every move.

Reflection Questions

1. What patterns of anger have others learned from you?
2. When do you feel most tempted to respond in anger?