100 Days of HopeEgzanp

God Is Bigger

I did not want to go. I sat in the passenger seat of the minivan waiting for my dad. We were all packed and ready to leave for another week-long stay at the hospital. This was only my second chemo treatment, and I was already tired of them.

My previous treatment had caused horrific side effects, and after only three weeks I had lost 15 pounds and all my hair. I was just starting to feel better; to keep food down; to be on the rebound … and now I had to return.

As I sat in the car, I was completely overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. I began to cry and beg to God: “Please, please don’t make me go … I am not strong enough for this.” When I reached up to wipe my eyes, I saw the blue and red rubber bracelet on my wrist that a friend had given me. It read “God is bigger than Carl.” (It is common tradition in pediatric oncology for patients to name their tumors. Mine was named Carl).

That one seemingly odd sentence gave me more hope than anything I have ever read or heard. God was so much bigger than Carl, so much bigger than cancer, so much bigger than anything I would ever face. I didn’t have to be strong enough, because He was.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you are greater than the trials we face and that your love is so deep that you are willing to carry us when we feel we can go no further.