Connection Defeats Porn: How Deep Connection With God and Others Defeats Lustનમૂનો

One of the most powerful aspects of small groups in addiction recovery is their ability to shift our focus from ourselves to others. When we are consumed by our own struggles, it creates a self-focused vortex.

But Jesus called His disciples to be part of a group, modeling a life of mutual care. The New Testament contains "59 'one another's"—commands for believers to practice in community, such as:

• "love one another" (John 13:34),
• "show honor to one another" (Romans 12:10),
• "serve one another" (Galatians 5:13),
• "bear one another’s burdens" (Galatians 6:2),
• "forgive one another" (Ephesians 4:32),
• and "encourage one another" (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Did you know God made you uniquely, with specific gifts, talents, and experiences that He intends for you to use to bless others? We are given these not to impress or self-promote, but to serve and build up others for their good and Christ’s glory.

When we engage in these "one another" practices, our brains actually release feel-good chemicals, reinforcing the positive feedback loop of giving and connecting. This actively rewires the brain away from self-gratification towards relational fulfillment.

Consider Doug, a missions team leader who joined one of our groups. He was battling a porn addiction that sent him home from the mission field. His growth exploded, largely because he began focusing on encouraging the other men—calling them, praying for them, and holding them accountable. I believe Doug grew the most because he gave the most. He was living out the "one another’s."

As Jesus said,

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

– Acts 20:35 (ESV)

This is the profound truth that unfolds when we practice mutual service: we bless others, and in that very process, God uses it to bless and grow us even more.

I've seen this reality repeatedly in The Freedom Fight small groups I lead: those who give the most, grow the most. So, when you step into any fellowship situation, ask God to help you cultivate a giving, sharing, "one another" mindset.

I believe one of the reasons it is not good for man to be alone is because we miss out on the healthy, life giving practices of others-centeredness. We need community because we desperately need a place to give and serve.

Current research shows Gen Z is the most depressed and anxious generation, largely driven by smartphones and social media, which often foster isolation and self-consumption. When we intentionally shift our focus from ourselves to God and to others, a flood of blessings follows.

Part of the blessing of being a disciple who makes disciples is being saved from a self-consumed life. Choosing to be a giver actively combats the self-absorption that often fuels addiction. It cultivates empathy and purpose, replacing the internal emptiness that pornography promises to fill.

You don’t join a small group just for what you can get out of it, but for what you can give to others. And yet, in giving, you’ll often find yourself even more richly blessed. That’s the power of groups.

Reflection Questions:

1. Review the "one another" list. Which "one another" do you feel God is calling you to practice more intentionally in your relationships this week?
2. Who is one person in your life (a family member, friend, or small group member) whom you can intentionally serve or encourage today??
3. If you need to kill the sin of pornography in your own life, check out The Freedom Fight program. It’s a porn recovery program grounded in Scripture, backed by science, and strengthened by daily accountability and community.
4. If you don’t have a small group or community to connect and confess to, then explore some here.