Connection Defeats Porn: How Deep Connection With God and Others Defeats Lustનમૂનો

As we’ve seen, isolation is profoundly "not good." In fact, the Bible calls it foolish:

"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

– Proverbs 18:1 (ESV)

We were made for relationships and intimacy—with God and with others.

When Jesus was asked the greatest commandment, he gave two, intertwined answers:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and...love your neighbor as yourself."

– Matthew 22:37-39 (ESV)

Jesus deliberately connected our love for God with our love for people. One flows from the other. If we truly love God, we will love what He loves—people. Part of loving them means pursuing them, knowing them, and allowing them to know us. Isolation is the antithesis of this divine design.

If you’re caught in sexual sin, you understand the devastating power of isolation. Shame keeps us in the shadows, preventing us from seeking help. But freedom is found only by moving towards others, not away.

Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leading authority on sex addiction, surveyed over 600 recovered sex addicts. He identified two critical factors in their freedom:

• first, reliance on God or a higher power;
• second, small group connection.

A small group provides a unique blend of acceptance, safety, accountability, encouragement, and the vital space for processing that can’t be found any other way.

If a lack of close connection contributes to addiction, it logically follows that connecting deeply with God and others is an essential part of recovery.

As Johann Hari concluded after years of studying addiction and recovery, "The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety; it's connection."

It is within these micro-communities—small groups—that the "magic" of critical practices like confession and mutual support truly unfolds.

We’ve witnessed this transformative power firsthand in The Freedom Fight. People don’t get free on their own; instead, the power of community is unleashed when they join a small group. This creates a social "buffering" effect in the brain, where the presence and support of trusted others literally reduces our stress and vulnerability to triggers, building resilience.

Freedom isn't merely about removing bad habits; it's about replacing isolation with authentic connection. Just as studies show environments rich in connection support thriving, so too do we flourish in community.

God designed us to grow through relationship, not secrecy. Take the courageous step today to break isolation.

Reflection Questions:

1. What specific fears or excuses are keeping you from joining a community or small group where you can be truly known and supported?
2. Reflecting on the insight that "the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection," how does joining a small group directly counter the isolation that fuels sexual sin?